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My Life  

Wolf_H41 82M  
0 posts
11/7/2020 9:22 pm

Last Read:
3/3/2022 10:23 am

My Life


Born during the last world war, grew up during the war and in the years that followed. It was then that my family and I learned about hunger. I became ill myself, suffered from tuberculosis malnutrition and had to go to great lengths to be cared for. Attended an elementary school in the former GDR for 8 years, then a high school for 4 years up to the Abitur. Unfortunately, my father died of lung cancer in 1958. In 1960, one year before the Wall, in the middle of the Abitur exam, escape from the GDR via Berlin. Flown to Frankfurt, then to my uncle in Koblenz on the Rhine. Instead of going to school or doing an internship for later studies, I did an apprenticeship as an electrician for 3 years. To avoid the army, I went to Berlin, after 18 months I had to return to Koblenz for my older brother's wedding. Then 1 year assembly in Wiesbaden, then 1966 employed at a company in Koblenz. That same year, a friend invited me to volleyball practice, and that's how my sporting career began. Before that I played table tennis and a bit of soccer when I was young. Unfortunately, I didn't start playing volleyball until I was 24, but the sport suited me and was a lot of fun. After 2 years in the 1st team of our club TV Koblenz-Luetzel, I took over the male youth team as player-coach and a year later I also coached the girls' team. Another year later, I became a player in our old men's team, volleyball referee and youth manager of the club. In 1975, during a weak hour, I made the boys' team a promise to quit smoking if they got promoted to the next division. After the team did this without losing a set or point, I had no choice but to keep my promise. Thank God I made it through without relapse and persevered to this day. 8 hours of work a day, three times a week in the evening, Mondays and Fridays from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. women's and men's training, Wednesdays 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. seniors' training, so my days were planned. On the weekends I was away as a men's and women's coach and as a player for the seniors. I also had to referee important regional league<b> games </font></b>and the 2nd Bundesliga, although trips of 100 kilometers or more were not uncommon. Despite the many appointments, I was always there with all my heart and had a lot of fun with all the teams. However, my relationships suffered due to the fact that my free time was very limited. They usually only lasted a few weeks or months, which is why I'm still single. Unfortunately, the right woman was never there, although I always dreamed of great love. Yes, sometimes I'm a dreamer and a romantic. In 1996 I ended my coaching and functional career, changed clubs several times and was only a player. Partly in a men's team and in a veteran team at TV Engers. There we won the Southwest German Championship and also the relegation to the German Championship for seniors in class IV for men over 53 years of age. We didn't do badly for a hobby team, finishing 9th out of 11 teams. In the following 3 years we also managed to take part in the DM Senioren IV. In 2000, some players moved with me to GTRV Neuwied, where we were able to form a new, stronger team with former Bundesliga players. Not being tall but being a pretty good defender with 34 years of playing experience, I was retrained to become a libero. In this position I was able to support the team well. Thanks to some newcomers in 2001, our team was able to perform surprisingly well and ultimately win the Senior IV title. In 2002 and 2003 we didn't manage to win the title, we had to settle for 2nd place. Unfortunately, the following year I was injured and two important players were gone, so we had to be satisfied with 4th place. That same year, in October 2004, the opportunity arose to compete in the World Senior Games in St. George, Utah. A week of volleyball and a 4th place were the result. Then a journey through 4 states: Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California. First a visit to the Snow and Zion Canyons, then a scenic flight over the Grand Canyon, a walk on the Strip and a night at the Las Vegas Stratosphere Hotel. Death Valley, Moonlake and Yosemiti Park were the next stops. Then another 3 wonderful days in San Francisco, trips with the cable cars, the cable car museum and the Golden Gate Bridge as well as Fisherman's End. Unfortunately only 14 days, but a wonderful, albeit small tour through a big country.
Up until 2009 I had no major injuries other than bruises, sprains or a ligament strain. But after a check-up, a visit to the urologist was due because of an enlarged prostate. But then came the prognosis - tumor in the left kidney - the kidney has to come out. That was a bit of a shock for me because the tumor was malignant. But after the operation and rehabilitation, I was able to pursue my beloved sport again. Two years later, while training, I noticed that my performance was declining and blamed it on my age. But an EKG at the family doctor revealed heart failure and a referral to the cardiologist, who determined with an ultrasound that the shortness of breath was caused by torn mitral ligaments in the left ventricle. Because of this, the body received too little oxygen. Minimally invasive cardiac surgery was required to reattach the mitral ligaments. After rehabilitation, I was able to do sports again, but found that my performance had declined and I was no longer satisfied with my performance. So I went to training less and less until I stopped completely.
I joined ETV in 2011, when ETV was acquired by Senior Sizzle I was a member of Senior Sizzle. Not much happened for years until my urologist found metastases on my remaining kidney in the summer of 2018 using ultrasound and CT. Actually, the kidney should also be removed, but I decided against it, who wants to be on dialysis every 2 or 3 days. That's why I had an operation at the end of 2018 and 3 metastases were removed. I have to say that the doctors did a good job and I am quite satisfied with the remaining kidney so far. In recent years I have become more interested in men, which is due to my medication since the heart surgery in 2011. The beta blocker that I have had to take since then has a very strong impact on my libido.
In February 2020 I was looking at member webcams and suddenly there was a beautiful black lady on camera. I was completely entranced by the sight, but it was her eyes that drew me in. What happened here, I fell head over heels in love with her. Unfortunately I couldn't understand her, she spoke quickly and not very loudly. Also, I don't speak their language except for a few snippets, so I have to use a translator. The fact that I'm a bit sad at the moment is because she never gave me clear answers and only answered sporadically. I know it was a mistake to fall in love with the beautiful black lady on a site where no one can know who or what this lovely lady really is. She has always kept me in ignorance and has never written to me about who she is and what she really does. It wouldn't matter to me at all, because it awakened a very special feeling in me. Too bad she doesn't trust me. It would be nice to get to know them better and see them in real life. If she were ok and the pandemic over, I would get on the next plane to visit her. She is like a star in the night, so bright and yet infinitely far away. To spend a day, a night or just a few hours with her, that would be my greatest wish before I disappear from this world. It looks like this is the end of an illusion. Now I've made a decision I don't know if it's right. I promised not to bother her anymore and to try to get my life back to normal. My mind says yes, I never had a chance with her. But I have a feeling it was a big mistake. I'm afraid I might not see her again. But I'll keep dreaming of her, even though it seems like my time has come. The cancer is back, maybe I'll lose my right kidney too. In addition, the pancreas is now affected and I have to wait for further investigations. I will probably not be able to avoid the next operation. It would be nice if I could see the beautiful black lady one more time and say goodbye to her gracefully before I ever have to delete my account.
Once upon a time there was a dream, a wonderful dream, but fairy tales never come true.
I wish you all the happiness in the world and that all your dreams come true, my beautiful black diamond

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