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The Call & The Secret
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The Call & The Secret The Photographer called ... just as she promised and just a while ago. It was a short call and what she wanted was unexpected .... just that she knew someone was a member and with permission she could review my Profile which would certainly help set the tone/mood/, etc. for shoot and that was all except that she would back Thursday evening with more info after reviewing everything. I asked her to please by 7:30, (Thursday Night Football ... Redskins at Vikings). Will advise .... after the game, right? Skol. xox Kaycee. As to The Secret: Recently, while continuing to unpack, I discovered a box of old journals, diaries, notes, memorabilia, etc. starting from 7th grade. I so have stuff from then to now ..... current. After taking some time and organizing a portion of it I am now from 7th grade or years old to my college years and I have discovered that there seem be some patterns that contribute to desires and behavior ..... some basic questions that I have been wondering about myself since forever. What seems be a common motivation of mine, the sum total of some of my behavior is that underlying it all I am a shamefully outrageously exhibitionistic. I don't mean a flasher, etc. It's different ... like I have a compulsion for attention ... not to be annoying but just for positive attention and reassurance ... that i feel or am insecure about whatever. And yet, in the light of day, I think I have a healthy ego ... I feel good about myself, have confidence, respect and like myself. Hence, the conundrum. So why am I admitting/confessing this? Well it is there; recognizing and acknowledging it does not defend it but contributes toward some understanding and a positive start thus motivation to pursue this further, thus document stuff as I go along. It seems like this is the right direction ... it just feels right .... good to be honest with it all and recognize stuff for what it is, bad and good. So if I am going do more with it I have been considering using blog as the place to document it, privately but also at the time publicly as that sorta keeps me on track and forces me not take shortcuts and yes, make some sense it all. For instance, obviously, with writing all this what I mean is that yes, I am going try it and begin soon but do not know if I will continue it or finish it .... there, that is more honest and what I mean and we shall see. xox Kaycee. |
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Hi tomboytgirl68 In case you don't know this, you need to add a first comment to your post (use the Add A Reply box) so that it gets 'published' in the Recent Posts list on the main blog page. Once that happens, others can view your post and comment.
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