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Sex, Drugs, Self-Destruction and Recovery
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Sex, Drugs, Self-Destruction and Recovery So, I’m mostly writing this for those whom may have wondered where I “disappeared” to for five or six months...and to sort of clarify where I’m “” now. I’m a recovering drug-addict, from over a decade of drug abuse. I was a tweaker/dumpster-junkie (dumpster junkies are basically just addicts that will combine everything and anything), and eventually became a hardcore junkie. Opiates were the last type of drug I quit, and was nearly my death (I’ve technically been dead—clinically—before, so “death and I” are fairly familiar with each-other...). With help from cannabis, I started exercising an almost military-like workout daily well beyond the point of muscle-failure and extreme nausea/headaches...and became nice and fit for a bit until I ran out of 420, started having neurological issues where I’d pass out randomly before reaching a point I’d never been to before: the worst nausea combined with, what felt like, a decade’s-worth of pain all at once. Words can’t describe how truly traumatizing it was; without even realizing “it” until looking at myself in the mirror, naked, one day before work: I was no more than a “walking-skeleton” (at my lowest weight, somewhere under 0 lbs., down from around 0 lbs., all lost within the duration of two or three weeks). I could barely walk, breathe, etc.; I had no stomach, and had lost all the muscle I had attained whilst working out...which was devastating. I could barely hear, or do much of anything; I was a delusional mess and suicidal. But, for reasons I won’t go into: suicide wasn’t an option, as badly as I craved it...I started my “recovery” by filling up on crackers at first as I’d just vomit, then dry-heave at first (which is why I consider weed to be immensely helpful for anyone that attempts to quit alone, as I did); so when I could finally eat: I had to start small...and exercise just “enough” (no stomach exercises for a while though; some advice from a friend whom had been in the Navy). At first, exercise just consisted of lifting some fairly light weights and literally walking circles in my garage (when it was night, since I had to eat every three hours and my legs were at the point of atrophy); changing the direction I’d walk since my right leg was developing more quickly than my left. At around 5 lbs.: I was able to restart my original workouts, mostly with VR, and eventually some yoga for flexibility. around six months, I was back up to 0-0 or so; finally back in the shape I was before detoxing nearly annihalted me. As of this writing: its been around seven months, and I’ve been able to maintain my original exercising habits and such—thank God. However... Without going into too much detail about the mental-struggles of living a life opiate-free; sexually, I’ve been frustrated. As embarrassing as it is to admit: I haven’t had sex, or even kissed a woman for six (and counting) years. Opiates deplete testosterone, so, since I’ve sobered up and recovered physically, I’ve also been “flooded” with testosterone. In other words: I’m extremely horny all the time. But I don’t even masturbate often since it takes me quite a while to cum, often-times, I can’t at all, leaving me extremely frustrated and worn-out. I’ve always been able to last long, but even when I do cum: I’m still wanting more...so masturbation, generally, is more of a problem than a solution. I notice a lot of extremely gorgeous, sexy women sending flirts but unfortunately can’t really respond since I don’t have a gold account. So: apologies. I’m definitely interested, am good in bed (I hate to sound pretentious, but it’s what I’ve been told and what I’ve “heard”...), LOVE eating pussy (delicious), dominating, being dominated, tied up; just going crazy and the more turned on the recipient is: the more turned on I am. Honestly: I feel more satisfied wearing “others” out, feeling and tasting orgasm after orgasm. Sooooo, if “you” are truly interested: send me an IM...reply to this; “find me” (it’s not hard, trust me...). And that’s where I’ll end me “tale” I guess, heh. I feel like a “born-again virgin”; I’ll forever thank whomever “helps” me lose my “v-card”...again; perhaps become their sexual-slave; whatever... Thanks to all the sexy people on here, out there—wherever—whom actually read this  Love, —Nicholas  --Nicholas Maleficus Visificus Entertainment™ @SexDrugsAndSD |
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