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What's in a schedule?
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What's in a schedule? There have been a lot of major changes in my world and my life recently, most of which I won't get into currently - I simply don't have the time nor inclination. What I will divulge fact that these changes have left in therapy, asking questions I had previous ignored, such as who am I apart from being a mom, what do I enjoy doing, what are the things in life I value and the question for today... What so important about having and following a schedule that I believe I need have one in place when also appears be entirely counter-intuitive those things I value? Let start off by saying that I actually do value and enjoy schedules and following schedules....when I'm[\I][\B] not one in charge of creating them. I like structure vs chaos, I prefer predictability surprise, and I like know what expectations are vs winging and hoping for best. Unfortunately, I tend get lost in minutia when creating a schedule and rather than giving myself an outline of how my day should go, I tend render a minute by minute itenerary that, if even slightly deviated from, throws and my day into utter chaos. I'm definitely a detail oriented person - I was a nurse for over yrs...details kept from killing people. And I seem be great at mastering details of other peoples lives. For example, keeping my 3 schedules, my husbands schedules, medications, appointments, projects, deadlines and important events organized. But getting myself organized seems evade entirely. For example, I just realized about an hour ago that I scheduled an appointment for my at 10 tomorrow, which exact time that I have an appointment for myself... other side of town. And too l and appointments too important, to reschedule. So, now I have to figure out how to be in 2 places at once. Don't worry, I'll get accomplished because that's simply what I do, but maybe if I had some sort of schedule in place, I wouldn't have made mistake at . As I said, I actually do like schedules and I do enjoy stability they provide. My problem lies not in following a schedule, but rather in following any kind of schedule that I create. As I said, I get too bogged down in the minutia of it . If I make a schedule, starts become so precise that sometimes I get down minute. issue with that is that it leaves no room for flexibility and it has change day by day depending what's going with that given day. I can't put in there, for example, a two hour block of time in the afternoon for "run errands"...what if I have no errands run that day? What if I need run my errands sooner, or later? What if takes longer get them done than 2hrs? Then the rest of my day entirely shot and I feel like I've failed at my schedule. This or nothing, black or white, style thinking has proven truly difficult and irritating in multiple areas of my life...this is just one that's presenting itself most forcefully at this time. I think this boils down a lot of my rationale for wanting a "diet and exercise dominant". Yes, I enjoy a D/s dynamic, but more so than that, it's so much easier for me let someone else handle details and then simply do as instructed. Honest god, someone needs create a damned app link health/fitness minded doms with subs looking for that particular inspiration/direction. I'm not suggesting dom's don't get paid for their time... could be a subscription service for I care...but yeah. Some of you tech savy folks really oughta get that. |
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I set my schedule. Without a schedule I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. It keeps me moving forward. I know mental, we all have some mental even if we are not willing to admit it. With age comes baggage. Baggage is the result of living. The baggage I refer to is the mental kind.
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