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Why stay?
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Why stay? Throughout my adult life I have come to realize that people (in general) make a lot of stupid decisions concerning relationships and emotions. Is that because we lose all capability for rational thought when the heart is involved? Take these for example: Example A: A buddy of mine has been head over heels in love with a girl that he has known since middle hool. They are both 38 now. I have known him for -10 and her for around 5ish of that. They call each other "good friends" but his feelings for her go WAY beyond the other way around. I know they have hooked up over and over and over (I know this because I have walked in on them, woke up in the same room, heard them in the next room, etc, etc.... They have never dated (as far as they have told me) in all the time they have known each other. According to him, they started sleeping together around 1 old but never with any consistency. He has dated 2 other women since graduating from High hool and those relationships didn't last longer than 6 months and that was because it was blatant that he has feelings for his friend. This woman has been in numerous relationships throughout the and even was<b> engaged </font></b>at point. She doesn't typically spend more than a few months of being single/not dating some. Going back to them sleeping together, I can't confirm that they ever slept together while being in a different relationship although I know he has tried to make it happen (I saw/read the attempts first hand but do not know for sure if he was successful). From what I see/hear about between these is that she loves the dick (obviously) and she also "friend-zd" him in terms of a relationship. She uses him as a constant rebound every time she gets out of a relationship and I wouldn't doubt it if she uses him as an excuse to end relationships she doesn't want to continue. Typically they end up hooking up within a night or of her becoming single again. He stays single and waits around for her. He meets the guys that she is dating/fucking and he acts like a total prick. I have had his back on numerous occasions where the other guy wanted to his ass. Yeah I know my buddy was the instigator and in the wrong, but he's a good enough friend that I have his back no matter what. Yes she has even gotten in his face about it as well. Then a month later, I go over to his place on a Saturday morning to pick him up to go Paintballing and I can hear her getting destroyed inside his place or I walk in and he literally has her bent over the kitchen counter. Yeah, right? Only slightly awkward for me but its now such a commonality that it doesn't phase me. He always tells me that she is "the " and that day she will realize that. All the while she dates countless guys and continues to lead him on over and over and give him hope by dragging him back every time she is single even if its only for 1 night. Dumbass right? Example B: I sat at a bar/grill evening waiting on some friends to show up (I got there an hour early so I had plenty of time to eavesdrop on other conversations, lol). Not 5 minutes into sitting down and getting a beer a pair of women sat down at the table right behind me. So you can visualize it, they are literally within 4 feet of my back...oh and these women were both extremely attractive. The type that I would have had no qualms about going into a bathroom stall with either and fucking so loud that every single person in the bar knew I was annihilating her. Anyway, so girl "A" is an emotional wreck. How do I know this? Well if you have never met a female before, they cant contain their emotions, especially when they are around a "bestie". Not more than 30 seconds into sitting down, you can hear her choking up when she talks. Her boyfriend of now 7 is physically abusive and cheats on her with regularity. Did you catch the part where I said she was hot? This woman was a level of hot that I'm not sure I could find any within a 100 mile radius that I would rather fuck. Back to the story...Boyfriend of 7 , physically abusive and cheats on her often. How does she know he cheats? During the convo, she mentid that she came home and CAUGHT him literally balls deep inside of another girl. When she went home that night to talk to him about it, he beat the shit out of her and broke her arm. Seriously, right?!? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???? She went on to say that he does really love her and tells her that he wants to get married. Yeah thats a GREAT idea. Trap yourself in a life threatening situation with some who has no problems with beating the hell out of you. According to the conversation that I could hear PLAIN AS DAY AS IF I WAS ACTUALLY A PART OF IT, he has caused her to go to the ER at least 5 times that were mentid. of the mentions was that she become pregnant a couple of prior and he accused her of it being some else's and he punched her in the stomach and then the face. She ended up miarrying. Yes all of the was overheard during around 45 minutes. While they were talking, girl "B" mentid HER OWN man problems (I can only assume as a means to comfort/empathize with her friend). She tells her friend that "all men are like that" even her own boyfriend (of 5 ) except his physical violent nature toward her has never g beyond an open handed slap. No joke, she said that was acceptable because he didn't use a closed fist. HE DID NOT USE A CLOSED FIST TO HIT A WOMAN SO THAT IS ACCEPTABLE. Yes you read that right. Those were HER words, not mine. She also mentid that her boyfriend forces her to have sex with other men while he watches even though she refused every single time. He also makes her watch him with other women. Again, the guy professes his love to her and that he wants to get married and have but treats her this way. Neither of these women are using any sort of rational thought when it comes to their own safety/well-being. If you sat and listened to a friend telling you they are going through either situation, you would be on them about getting the fuck out. I have witnessed female friends say that to other friends and then turn around and do the exact opposite. All in all, the 3 people (4 technically if you count the woman in Example A) aren't using any sort of common sense and allow themselves to be abused whether its physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually. Its always easier to see a situation from the outside and give advice about how to handle it. People should start listening more to their own advice rather than look for reaffirmation that what they are doing is right. |
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