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| Blogs > luvhandle14 > Is this the real life? |
Lockdown lingo - are you fully conversant with the new terminology?
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Lockdown lingo - are you fully conversant with the new terminology? *Coronacoaster* The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”. *Quarantinis* Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week. *Blue Skype thinking* A work brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium”. Naturally, they are to be avoided if at all possible. *Le Creuset wrist* It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware. *Coronials* As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “ of the Quarn”. *Furlough Merlot* Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”. *Coronadose* An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic. *The elephant in the Zoom* The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background. *Quentin Quarantino* An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are. *Covidiot* or *Wuhan-ker* One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”. *Goutbreak* The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s. *Antisocial distancing* Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating. *Coughin’ dodger* Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror. *Mask-ara* Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask. *Covid-10* The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”. …and finally, finally: One sentence to sum up 2020, so far: At one point this week, one toilet roll was worth more than a barrel of crude oil! |
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funny stuff, thanx for the chuckles. "well only get through this if we work together. if we dont, none of us will"
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Loved those but you missed one - Quaranteens (self explanatory) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Ay, corona ! 
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