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Timing is everything
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Timing is everything Sorry, not an x-rated blog post! I wondering, what is the usual time frame for messaging someone after you meet? I’ve always expected that if a meet went well, and both parties are interested in seeing each other again, the guy usually sends a message fairly quickly. Even if it’s just a follow up like “so great to finally meet, hope we can see each other again”. Is that wrong?? starting to doubt myself because I recently met a much younger -GASP- man. And we decided to meet for coffee, had a nice time and then he did not message me for ELEVEN DAYS! nearly 2 weeks.....is that the norm? Because for me it is NOT. That is rude and cocky behavior and perhaps could be acceptable IF I was looking for a no strings attached type of thing, but clearly I NOT and he knew that. If he was so interested in seeing me and felt excitement when we chat, then he should have gotten his shit together and not waited so freaking long. What is wrong with him? Geez KG, you like to say how ‘mature’ you are and then you act like a playing games. Oh that’ll teach me to stick to my own generation! |
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9/19/2018 1:41 pm |
I'm glad he blew it.
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I am younger and that is not how all of us are. Don't judge all of us by the worst of us. It is rude for anyone to treat you that way. If your not interested you just say so. So for the younger men I apologize to you.
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I think 2 days is too long, forget about 2 weeks. If you're going to wait that long, don't bother IMO.
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5/9/2019 8:23 am |
A gentleman, would immediately text you, to thank you for your time in meeting him...Regardless, of how it went..If he was sincerely interested, he would ask to plan your next date together..If he didn't see a "fit", he would still say thank you, and wish you the best in your search.. I sense you are a lady, who would also reply accordingly..no games, just two mature people, being open and honest with each other...
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Well it seems like he wants you to chase him, is not very interested or is playing around looking for the best he could get and throwing the others away. I dont know but that is impolite.
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Whether you're hoping to have a second date, get laid, sell widgets or solicit a charitable contribution, common sense alone always demands a brief, timely message of thanks for the other person's time (along with, if appropriate, a statement of future intentions). And by timely, I mean within 24 hours, if not sooner--perhaps even transmitted will sitting in your car outside the meeting place! I do think that in today's world the onus rests with both participants in a dating situation to send a thank-you or acknowledgment note to the other, although as an old-fashioned guy in such matters, I feel a man has a heavier burden. If you want something from someone, you have to make your own investment of effort and energy. You seem like a person of substance, and you should not have to tolerate rude, uncouth men of any age. If I were you, I'd have totally given up on this person after 48 hours--but perhaps not before sending my own message, with this general theme: "Gee, I had hoped to hear something back from you, but since that has not happened, I don't expect that it will. I thus wish you well in your ongoing dating activities, yada, yada, yada.... No need to respond; I've now uncovered all the insights I needed to obtain. Cheers." Onward and upward!
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I do by the time I get home, whether I want to go out again or not-- ghosting is the wussy way. of dealing with things. 11 days is crazy & def not the norm. ~Lotsa
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1 post 6/8/2020 8:14 am |
Good communication is a great way to understand how two people feel and to figure out what comes next. In your situation, it sounded like feelings were made clear. That you both liked each other since there was interest in meeting again. Since coffee went well, it’s important to get some information on where things go next. It might help to set basic expectations on what comes next, then act on it. Being on the same page and understanding each other is a great way to move forward. In your situation over coffee, if the next steps were made clear and the young guy followed through, he might have struck gold. That is just the opinion of one man.
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