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True love, primal sex, & polygamy
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True love, primal sex, & polygamy ***NOTE: This is taken from my primary blog that will remian unidentified. But as I have elected to start posting relevent things here, this would have to be the most relevent entry I have made to date. Enjoy*** SO yeah, been thinkin some lately about a comment someone here made involving the title, somewhat along the lines of love/lust/attraction, & how it relates to people today. Moreover how the majority of people today dont have the 1st fukkin clue what "love" really is. I would have to say I agree. People throw the word around like it means nothing, & there are also those that it means too much & will go totaly nuts coz someone said it to them. In the age of instant satisfaction people are basing what they call love on what makes them feel good right now with little real thought for what happens when what you "love" about someone dissapates. We're not all young & nubile forever yanno,... Think about it, if the only time you satisfy eachother is after a few drinks, you're SO not in love. Lust yes, no love involved. I dont use that word unless I mean it. Aside from Deni I have a few freinds that I do in fact care enough for & feel strongly enough about that I can say I love them & actualy mean it. LOVE: There is the freindly love/affection you have for those people who are so close to you that they have become a part of your life. Close freinds that while they will always be a part of you, will never be more than that. Familial love, like that for a parent, sibling, or relative. People that have been in your life for as long as you can remeber that mean the world to you. And then there is that love felt for that person who has such a hold on you that the simple though of losing them makes your chest tighten up & your tummy go hollow. It's not a sexual attraction so much as it is someone who "fits". Fits into your life, meshes with your personality, makes you feel whole. LUST: Now a huge mistake I see is that people mix up the animal attraction for someone and that joyous feeling following a mind numbing orgasm as love. No, thats lust. Pure rutting animal feeling, no real basis past our primaly chemical induced need to procreate. Very few people seem to be blessed enough to have met someone they can have sex with AND expereince actual love. They have great sex, but outside the bedroom they have nothing in common and are stuck in a continual struggle to cope w. eachother because damn, thats some good ass! But as with all things, eventualy you grow tired, or it becomes too familiar, and what do you have left? Nothing, an empty relationship that was based on something that is now gone. Sadder yet are the ones that are feeling real love, but place so much import on the sex that when it's gone they would rather chase the momentary satifaction than keep the long term possibilities that they have at hand. WHY, why waste your life doing that? Who knows, but it's getting to be so common that people dont get married for the right reasons anymore & it's hard to meet anyone that by the age of 30 isn't working on thier 2nd or 3rd marriage. It's not always both persons fault, usualy one is too weak or misguided that it destroys the whole deal, but have begun to see more instances where both parties are at fault. Most of them may have figgured out that there's an issue there, but finding another person who can relate is nigh impossible. HAVING YOUR CAKE & EATING SOMEONE ELSE TOO  ~ :And here's the part where I feel someone simply unable to understand the concept of how Deni & I live our lives would see all of this as hypocracy on my part. Deni & I are Polygamists, so I can visualize how someone knowing that we take other women into our bed could read this & think what the fuck do you know about love??? Well, it's pretty simple really. I know that my life revolves around her, as it has for over 11 years now. Her life revolves around me as well. It's not conciet, it's simple truth. We FIT together, emotionaly & spiritualy. Everything we need that doesn't involve the biologicaly induced drive to mate we get from eachother. We are best freinds, & anyone who has seen us together can see it, & frequently tells us. We are in LOVE with one another, and truthfuly I wish that everyone could find someone like we have (not necesarrily the same fashion we have, but the love as it were). Now, on to the biological/physical needs aspect. We are each very loving & caring people. Deni has always loved women & I simply cannot give her what she needs in that area, so she needs outside interaction, sexual interaction. Deni is also not wired like your average person, she is MUCH more in touch with her primal self. Much of her emotion, need, & desire stems from that part of ourselves that average folks have forgotten about. As such they are much stronger & unwavering than most people can understand. I'm typical of males of the species in that I want to hump everything with tits. Sure it's a controlable urge, and I am capable of being with just one person. That incessant desire exists wether I give in to it or not, & ignoring it is lighting the fuse on a time bomb. I have found that my capacity to love my wife is undiminished by loving a very close freind as well (& I have & still do for that matter, love another woman very much. Coincidentaly, Deni loves her too), & not at all affected by acting upon the urge to couple with someone other than my mate purely for sexual gratifaction. So, we have two sexualy driven people who are very much in love with eachother, yet thier own sexual attractions have hit the inevitable stagnation that all couples expereince. What do we do? Stick to it because thats what "normal" people do, start to get bitter & resentful? Fight, irritate, nag, & finaly break up? thats what "normal" people do isn't it? No, we have enough love & trust between us that we decided we will feed that need, together. Does it mean we dont actualy love eachother? No, it means that we have accepted that we each have that desire & decided we will satisfy it mutualy. In the course of that satisfaction we find that it also stimulates our desire for eachother, perpetuating the sexual love in our own relationship & accenting our real love for eachother. Is this what we all should do? Hell no! VERY few people are capable of the strength in loving trust that we share. As well there are many people who dont have the capacity to become emotionaly attached to more than one person whereas there are those that cant become attached at all. Many think they are ready to be in an open ended relationship, but find to thier sorrow they are horribly wrong. One would hope they learn that lesson long before shattering thier current relationship. But then thats what life is about, striving, leanring, & either failure or success. My point would be that in the end only we ourselves, individualy, can judge wether or not we are capable of true love. There is no universal standard for what it is. There are some sad simulations that may fool the senses, but they are something less in the light or reality. In the end, you WILL know if you are "in love", or are just realy close friends, maybe not even that much once the sexual attraction dies. If you're not, dont fool yourself, or more importanly your partner, & be honest. If you cant be honest, well, maybe the next marriage will be the one? |
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Thanks. It is something I have had alot of time to mull over obviously.  The real iriony of it all is I was one of those people that never got laid or had much fun sexualy. No shortage of female freinds & companionship, just no sexual relationships. Now, several years later & no real changes in how I do things I've got this beutiful woman that loves women & moreover loves to watch me fuck them. Out of all of this just wierd crap I have gained a scarily clear view of what people do to eachother just to get a little of what I have now. The world is a wierd, wierd place! lol
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