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Humiliation and self-esteem in submission
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Humiliation and self-esteem in submission First of all, anyone with low self-esteem should refrain from practicing D / s. The reason is very evident, in this type of game, or way of life, or philosophy, or as it wants to qualify to him, since it depends on how each one lives it, there are two clearly defined roles: one Dominant, and another submissive. Of course a Dominant with low self-esteem would theoretically not practice it, since it requires a lot of mental dexterity, security, firmness, etc., things that obviously could not exert if he was not sure of himself. Let's talk about the submissive. There is the false belief that the submissive is an "inferior" being, as it abides by the orders of another being, its Master. Paradoxically, the submissive must be a strong person, know herself well, value, esteem, which is also equivalent to having a high self-esteem. To give yourself to someone else, you must first have your ideas very clear, choose who you give yourself, learn and improve each day as a person so that your Master is proud of you, and love yourself. A submissive is the reflection of her Master, so both of them will want her to grow, not that she will devalue herself as a person. And most important of all, that everything that the submissive gains personally, emotionally, sexually, etc., will be a pleasure and enjoyment on the part of his Master. The more you feed your submissive, the more he will please and give you. This is a task that requires time and a lot of patience, but the fruits obtained will be solid and pleasant for both of us. I make an incision to say that if a submissive wants to practice D / s to heal that self-esteem, it is not at all advisable. This is a way of life, not a psychological therapy, and can bring many problems to both your possible Master and her. Unfortunately there are many Amos who do not adequately watch over the mental health of their submissive, and they simply humiliate her. This can cause serious psychological injury as well as personality annulment by dependence on the decisions your dominant makes for it. What's more, a Dominant who sees that his submissive has psychological problems, should be alerted, and do not forget that when accepting it, he assumes some responsibilities, therefore a person upset can cause you endless problems, even legal if she decides to report you . In this world we rely on trust, so it is better for both of us to know who we are playing with. The Game of Humiliation As we have already mentioned, both people adopt opposite roles, one dominant and one submissive. The Dominant is the one who trains, directs, orders and controls everything. The submissive is in the hands of his Master and must obey him, and abide by his decisions, except those that have previously agreed as limits. If this is not well understood, if the Master does not explain his methods well for the submissive advance, she may misunderstand and feel frustrated and think that does not serve as submissive and not pleased. For this there must be a lot of trust and communication. The submissive should never be silent about his fears, as they may be unfounded. And the punishments inflicted by the Master must be to improve it, not to sink it. If you fail there, you may suffer a crisis of self-esteem, and more if it is a submissive with perfectionist tendencies, and an analytical mind. It is a typical error for analytical personalities to try to find explanations for everything, and not all of them have an explanation of this kind. They are guidelines that the Master uses to cause reactions. Sometimes nothing is what it seems. The submissive may be thinking that her Master does not value her, and yet he is trying to provoke a reaction in her to train her or to overcome problems and obstacles. That is why many times we find smart submissives who say they have low self-esteem. This means that your mind does not understand it in a logical way, it does not process it correctly, and it creates an alarm in the form of feeling bad, since you have to do things that are very costly to you, and your psyche rebels . She forms her own theories of what is happening because of her tendency to analyze it absolutely everything. This type of submissive is usually quite rebellious and difficult to carry, since it will not be carried away with the same ease as someone who does not question or analyze or think things that much. But with time and patience they will be enriched enormously as people and as submissive and their delivery will be immense and total, since the path they have traveled has been long, they have understood, and no longer doubt. With that, three very important pillars to give that delivery that all Amo longs for are: Confidence, communication, and respect. |
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