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Something different and terrifying...
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Something different and terrifying... I've had more than my fair share of guys that have wanted to fuck me and I've let some of them have me. I appreciate that they think I'm sexy and want to have their way with me. However, now I'm encountering something different. I "met" a man on here that actually wants to meet me to talk. We talked on the phone for twenty minutes and had an enjoyable conversation and I generally hate talking on the phone. Never once did he talk about how he was going to fuck me and bla bla bla. Here's the terrifying part; he wants to meet for coffee. He wants to meet for coffee with me dressed as my true self. Why is it so freakin scary for me to go out in public dressed as the woman I've felt I am on the inside my whole life? He knows what I look like with makeup on. He's seen my photos and read my profile so I'm not trying to trick him. Yet, I'm kind of freaking out at the prospect. Part of it is because I don't think I'm passable yet. My sisters think I am and I don't quite think so. I'm still freakin learning how to apply makeup correctly. And unlike genetic females, I have to be able transform my face so that I look like a woman with a normal amount of makeup on. It's a bitch lol So what's the worst that could happen? Someone might be so offended that they want to beat me up. I shouldn't be worried about that because I can fight and am fairly good at it. Or, I might have people (ESPECIALLY WOMEN) giving me the knowing look; like I know what you are, type of thing. But so what if they did. Women wear men's clothe all the time without even trying to change their<b> appearance </font></b>to make themselves look like men. But wearing women's clothes is still so frowned upon by society; why is thins? Of course, I have my theories on that. Anyway, I think I'm going to force myself to get through my fear and go to meet this man wearing a nice classy dress etc. and see what happens. Once again thank you for reading my blog and have fun and be safe. Terri |
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Completely understand where you are coming from! I have been out in public only a few times; both of which were terrifying, and yet exhilarating! Honestly, I think self confidence is at least half of it, with make up and appearance being important as well. However, beyond even the physical appearance, I think being able to carry one's self in a feminine manner is perhaps even more crucial. In my limited experience, the one thing that made people do a double/triple take was when I opened my mouth to say something. My voice, far from feminine, had elicited the same response; a pause and then a second glance back at me with the look of confusion very evident as an expression. Yeah... I should probably work on that, but to be honest, it's not terribly important to me at the moment (for some strange reason). I guess my suggestion is to talk to some of the girls on here that frequently go out in public and maybe ask for some advice (the ladies in the Diversi-T forum are all super awesome). Personally speaking, I think the best practice is to dress up in a casual setting with a friend, and just get comfortable being in front of someone in a non-sexual manner. Let your inner girl out... Be fun and flirty...Practice things like walking (important) and talking. Women have very different mannerisms than men; if you practice and get comfortable, these things become more natural instead of forced, and I think that is what makes the biggest difference in terms of having a 'tell'. Anyway... Just my thoughts, whether right or wrong  Whatever you do, have fun and don't doubt or second guess yourself! Chances are, people out in general public probably won't pay as much attention as you think; your self conscious might try to tell you otherwise, but the reality is, you won't be under the microscope nearly as much as you think.Bon chance!
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6/1/2019 2:00 pm |
Thank you so much for your kind words and feedback. Of course, you nailed everything The walk is definitely important but I think I have that down along with the female mannerisms. Honestly, my biggest concern is my Adam's apple...what to do. And yes I've had suggestions to wear a scar lol. Plus my height makes me self-conscious, I'm a 6ft 1in girl. I'm not complaining, just explaining. However, I think you gave me gift with the "self confidence." I agree that is the key. Now I just have to find mine lol. Anyway, thank you again so much for your gentle support and best of luck to you. Terri
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You can do it! And when you do, you may find yourself wondering why you didn't do it sooner  All the best!
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