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Common BDSM Terms
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Common BDSM Terms BODY MODIFICATION: Any practice, including piercing, tattooing, branding, and the like, intended to modify, often permanently, the appearance of one's body. BONDAGE: Any practice involving tying or securing a person, as with ropes, cuffs, chains, or other restraints. BRANDING: The use of a heated metal implement to brand a person's skin, leaving a permanent mark in the form of a scar. BRAT: A submissive who may refuse to obey a dominant's commands, tease or taunt the dominant, or engage in other activity intended to provoke a response, often a punishment response. BUKKAKE: A sexual practice, originating in Japan, in which a very large number of men masturbate and ejaculate onto a person. COLLARING CEREMONY: A formal ceremony celebrating or symbolizing a commitment between a dominant and a submissive, typically during which a collar is placed around the submissive's neck. Commentary: There is no single type of collaring ceremony, and not all people in committed relationships in the BDSM community practice collaring ceremonies. A collaring ceremony in the BDSM community has many of the same kinds of social significance as something like a marriage or a wedding; often, the process of collaring is used to indicate a committed long-term relationship. A submissive who has participated in such a ceremony is often said to be "collared to" his or her dominant. A collar in this context has symbolic value not unlike that of, say, a wedding ring. Collaring ceremonies may be public or private, and may include whatever elements the people involved find appropriate. Collaring ceremonies may or may not imply a monogamous relationship; one dominant may have more than one collared submissive, but it is extremely uncommon for one submissive to be collared to more than one dominant. DOMINANT: A person who assumes a role of power or authority in a power exchange relationship. A dominant takes psychological control over or has power over another person, and may, for example, give that person orders which are to be obeyed. GOR: A mythical planet created by science fiction writer John Norman and used as the setting for an entire series of science fiction novels. The novels describe a civilization in which women occupy an extremely submissive position in society and are often used as sex slaves. The novels describes a formalized, ritualized set of social structures centered around female submission and male superiority, which have been adopted by a sub community of people within the BDSM community. GOREAN D/S: Male domination and female submission according to a formal system adapted from the fictitious society described in the Gor novels, and characterized by strong hierarchy, male superiority, and an elaborate system of protocols. Includes such elements as ritualized postures and positions which women are expected to take in the presence of men under certain circumstances. Also Gorean master, Gorean slave: one who adopts a dominant or submissive role in a manner which reflects the society described in the novels. MASOCHIST: One who experiences arousal, excitement, or sexual gratification from receiving pain. ORAL SERVITUDE: A specific form of submission in which the submissive partner satisfies the dominant partner orally, but is generally not permitted to have other, more conventional forms of sexual contact with the dominant. ORGASM DENIAL: The practice whereby one person is not permitted to reach sexual orgasm without the permission of another person, or for a set period of time, or sometimes at all, even though that person may be permitted (or required) to engage in sexual activity or sex. POWER EXCHANGE: Any situation where two or more people consensually and voluntarily agree to a power relationship in which one (or more) people assume authority and one (ore more) people yield authority. PUPPY PLAY: An activity in which the submissive takes on the role of a puppy, as by barking, walking on all fours, and in some cases even sleeping in a doghouse or cage. SADIST: One who is aroused, excited, or receives sexual gratification from inflicting pain on another. A sadist does not necessarily take pleasure in inflicting pain indiscriminately; for most sadists, the pleasure relies on knowing that the subject is also enjoying the experience. SADOMASOCHISM: Any activity or practice involving the inflicting or receiving of pain. SAFE WORD: A predefined "code word" which a submissive can use to stop an ongoing activity if it becomes too much. SCENE: 1. A specific period of BDSM activity; as in, We had a scene lasting about two hours last night. 2. The BDSM community as a whole. 3. In the scene: participating in the organized BDSM community. SLAVE AUCTION: An event sometimes held at play parties, conventions catering to BDSM participants, and the like, in which submissive’s are auctioned off for the use by the highest bidder in some context or for a set period of time. Slave auctions are sometimes held at BDSM-related events to raise money for charity. SPREAD EAGLE: A posture in which a person is bound or restrained with the legs spread apart and the arms spread wide with the hands over the person's head. SUBMISSIVE: One who assumes a role of submission in a power exchange relationship. A submissive is a person who seeks a position of or occupies a role of intentional, consensual powerlessness, allowing another person to take control over him or her. SWITCH: One who can change roles, being either dominant or submissive (or, less frequently, sadistic or masochistic) at different times or with different partners. TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE (TPE): A relationship in which one person surrenders control to another person for an indefinite duration, and in which the relationship is defined by the fact that one person is always dominant and the other is always submissive. One of the more extreme forms of power exchange. Sometimes referred to as lifestyle D/s. |
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