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| Blogs > sensualtension21 > Ramblings of a Sub's Mind... |
Orgasms...
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Orgasms... Slippery little fuckers, aren’t they? Do you orgasm quick? Multiple times? Slow to reach? Is yours determined by your mood? Who you are with? How long you’ve been engaging in the act? My first orgasm caught me completely off guard. Nobody had ever told me how one felt, when it might appear or how my body would react to one. I remember feeling embarrassed, not knowing my body was capable of taking control despite me thinking I was the only driver. The guy I was with was completely oblivious which most 20-year old men are likely to be. From that point on, I was in search of that release again. As coincidence would have it, my next relationship was with a man who was very in sync with his sexuality and taught me to appreciate my own. Not only could he bring me to my maximum with ease, he taught me how to please myself. This is a tool I learned to appreciate early. Since this relationship, I have met several men who flat out refuse to masturbate. While I understand, we are not to be judgmental, I find this behavior to be…perplexing. Why would anybody leave their satisfaction and fulfillment in the hands of another? What happens if that person does not wish to please you? What happens if that person is no longer in your life? Does that mean the next person that you date must be responsible for your sexual gratification? What happens if that person is a toad and terrible at giving hand jobs? I digress, but you get my point. I seriously question my ability to have any type of relationship with any man who does not feel comfortable touching his own cock. Not too long after this relationship dissolved, I came to find my inner sub. My first Master had zero tolerance for anything. It was a very distant and cold dynamic. Because I was exiting my then marriage I wasn’t exactly seeking comfort or understanding so I think then, we were a good fit. However, one of his kinks was orgasm control. Edging was big for him and my masochistic desires were way beyond my common sense. It wouldn’t be until several years later that I realized the “damage” done to my psyche to still have this play a role in my sex life. Nearly twenty years after this man controlled my mind and body I am still unable to reach a full, fireworks exploding, body quivering, eyes rolling into the back of your head orgasm. Let’s make this clear though… I can have an orgasm. To have an earth-shattering, mind-blowing climax it must be by my own doing and if I am alone I can reach this plateau far quicker than if I am being watched. This isn’t to say I don’t like it when somebody plays with my pussy or strokes her with his cock. To the contrary, I adore fingers and cock inside and around my pussy. Maybe I enjoy it so much I do not reach my climax. Maybe I psych myself out of letting go in order to hold on to the feeling of my pussy being played with. If it isn’t me playing inside or around my pussy and I’m being spoiled by another I can still have an orgasm but it isn’t a climax worth writing a blog about (pun totally intended). I am more aroused than I was before and whomever I am playing with will probably feel my wetness multiply. Sadly though, there are no fireworks, no waves of pleasure, no breath-taking, hyperventilating moments. Where does this leave me, you ask? Here’s the tricky part because whether I like the man or not, the next words I’m about to type are going to sound cruder than I intend…. I…fake it… Before you judge me, hear me out. I’m not faking it because I want the experience to end (there have been times in the past but I do some serious heavy vetting to prevent the need for this now). Typically, if I have faked an orgasm it is because I don’t want my partner to think he should try so hard. I want him to enjoy me and not be so focused on some outward sign of accomplishment. Many, many, many men on these sites pat themselves on their backs based on how many or how powerful he has “made” a woman orgasm. If I am out of breath, if he is out of breath, if I am unable to keep my lips off his body or if he says, “I’ve never had pussy feel like this,” then I equate that as reaching my climax. Reading this, I feel like I may be the odd duck here. But that makes me curious…how are your orgasms? Slippery little fuckers? |
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Pretty interesting take on the subject
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4/4/2017 3:56 pm |
Pretty interesting take on the subject
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