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Blogs > coupleofwookies > My Blog

Starting over  

coupleofwookies 46M/52F
0 posts
3/1/2017 9:15 pm
Starting over

On December 29, 2016, my wife left me. I have no idea why…at this point I honestly don’t care. It led to the worst start of a year I’ve ever endured but as I lay in bed on New Years eve, heartbroken, I decided that I would waste no more tears on her. She didn’t deserve them. Instead, I decided it was time to start over.

I admit having become complacent with myself while with my wife. I put on probably 100+ lbs while with her (we’d been together 16 years). Too much fast food. No encouragement to stick with diets (even when I was trying she’d bring cookies into the house). No encouragement to hit the gym. I never needed to most cooking because she was the cook of the family.

And thus, the starting over part…

For the first time since we’ve moved in here (9 years ago) our place is clean. Carpets vacuumed, counters clean, clothes washed, etc… Without her working against me, I am able to maintain a clean environment and it feels nice.

I’ve learned how to cook. Okay, before you laugh, let me say that I wasn’t totally inept before. But most of my repertoire involved boxes and mixing it with meat…or spaghetti. But since she’s left, I’ve cooked SOPP (sausage, onions, green peppers, potatoes), Italian baked chicken, slow cooker BBQ roast, even a honey glazed chicken. I’m getting pretty good. And I actually like it. Plus, we generally save money since I get to choose when my eat leftovers and don’t have to pay for her to grab McDonalds because she doesn’t want to heat up dinner.

And lastly? I’m working out. I know some women might find me attractive, but when I look in the mirror, I’m disgusted. So I’m hitting the gym, getting into weights. It may take some time, but it will be worth it. And each day is easier than the last.

And that’s also in part why I wanted to write this… to hold myself accountable. I’m over 300 lbs. I’d like to actually get back to a healthy weight. And while maybe it will take a while, it’s a worthwhile goal. Both for my own self-esteem and to ensure I’m around for the .

I know it seems odd to put this kind of stuff in a blog on an adult website…but it’s a place I can be open about my lifestyle (none of my “vanilla” friends or family know). I know I’m not the only person to go through this. But I vowed to come out of this better than when I went into it.

And so…I’m finally ready to start over.

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