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| Blogs > VenusRedux2 > Conversing with the Divine |
Play by Play of How I Have Conversations
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Play by Play of How I Have Conversations So you see a woman who lives nearby on your IM list. She has no pic and a one sentence profile that says absolutely nothing. In order to talk to her, you'll have to make conversation out of nothing. When faced with this situation, most guys will ask about their weekend and hope that they get a response that is sufficiently detailed to induce follow up conversation. In the history of the this website ... nay, in the history of the entire Internet ... this has NEVER happened. Guys, while she's giving you responses that are the cyber equivalents of grunts, they are so thoroughly expected that it is hard to have any sympathy for you guys not being able to roll with them. Just take a minute and plan out how things can go. What are her range of responses? Which ones are women most likely going to go with any any given conversation? So I thought I'd write something about how I handle conversations, giving an example of one from the beginning to see how I put it all together and my thought process behind it. How was your weekend? Get to go out and enjoy the good weather? Advantages: It’s a solid opening line, doesn’t have any of the obvious errors many make (for example, it doesn’t use pet names, or isn’t overly sleazy, etc). It is short and to the point. It says more than just “Hi.” Sidenote: Personally, I’m not a big fan of the advice I see about opening lines. Very little of it is actually useful. My experience is that a solid opening line works better than simply saying “Hi,” but not by any huge margin. Too many other factors come into play. By all means, extract every advantage you can, but don’t get too hung up on the small stuff. If she’s available and looking to chat with new people, she’ll likely respond to any polite greeting. Disadvantages: While it introduces a topic for discussion (normally a good thing), understand that the topic isn’t exactly scintillating. She’s likely going to give a vague response. There are no perfect opening lines. You can’t be witty, intelligent, conversational, lively, sane, “Nice but with a hint of Bad Boy” and all that … all in one mere sentence. There’s only so much that can be realistically be conveyed without writing a novel. So while there are some disadvantages any that will ultimately be used. It doesn’t make it wrong to use it. It just means to be prepared is all. Stayed in the entire weekend. Caught up on sleep. So we got what we expected. She doesn’t offer much to use to further the conversation. Being prepared for it, however, the conversation need not die at this stage. Option A: She mentioned she caught up on sleep, talk about that. Option B: Offer up something you did with your weekend to spur conversation, or offer something that could have been done Option C: Be sexy and suggestive, I mean, that’s what we’re here for, right? Option A is boring beyond words. She’s offering that lame response because she doesn’t want to talk about her weekend. This forces her on the very subject she’s signaling she wants to avoid. Option C, even if it is not overly sleazy, is too soon in the conversation. There will be a time for this, just not right now. I’ve had the most success with Option B. I finally got to whip out the barbecue. After a long hibernation, I gorged myself on meat Cool Not much of a response. I wasn’t expecting much else here anyway. That’s okay, though, this is only the “pleasantries” part of the conversation. The primary goal at this stage of the conversation was to simply get her talking. Granted, it isn’t much, but it is enough. So … Mission Accomplished in that regard, she’s talking. However, it does mean that I have to shift gears now. She hasn’t given us anything to work with. Don’t force a bad hand. Just adapt and keep going. So, where to go now? She has a vague profile with no pics. Where do you go in the conversation when you have nothing to work with? Option A: Ask for pics Option B: Ask about her relationship status Option C: Without being sleazy, be sexy and suggestive I don’t like Option A. Many people, both men and women, outright expect this at this stage of the conversation. However I am clearly not one of them. Thinking ahead here, where is this going? Do I really want 12 lines of conversation forcing me to say “Oh, you’re very handsome”? I hate that. Being backed into a corner like that isn’t worth satisfying my curiosity (and yes, I actually am curious). I’ve found that women will ask when the time is right … and when that happens you score bonus points for never bringing it up. I promise you Option C will eventually be the right answer. Really. Just not now. Settle down boy. So Option B it is. Not only is it something you want to know about her, it opens the door to tell her about you. This is information she needs, so you need to bring it up at some point. Don’t just assume that because your profile says “Single” that she doesn’t need to hear you directly say it. Everyone says they’re single, so she’s second guessing it. Single can mean different things to different people. You’re switching to an objective that both gets and gives some needed information about each other. You’re presenting yourself as being open and honest. Didn’t spend the weekend with anyone? Would have been a nice day to spend in the park with someone. No bf or anything? And don’t tell me you don’t have one. No, nothing serious. Could have used some company FYI: “Nothing serious” is VASTLY different than “Not seeing anyone” Nothing here either. Just got out of a relationship about a year ago. Just biding my time until someone special comes along I know how that goes, too many losers out there, or guys with a ton of baggage Notice her word count is increasing. She’s not giving up much, but she’s gradually getting more comfortable. Option A: Start ratcheting things up here Option B: We’re making steady progress, so keep making progress. Now isn’t the time to blow it. Option C: Can I PLEASE now change to sexy talk? I mean, we’re both single and looking, what am I waiting on? No, you can’t switch to overt sex talk right now. Progress is being made here, but not fast enough. People here just aren’t patient enough to sit through an hour and a half of mere slow-and-steady progress. So Option B is out. She’s asking you to qualify yourself, that’s a good sign. Although not in the form of a question, she’s asking you “Are you a loser or a crazy person?” As far as Shit Tests go, this is as mild as it gets. However, it is a sign that she’s responding favorably (in fact, harder Shit Tests are actually better signs). That gives you a little wiggle room at this stage to take a few more liberties. Just be careful whenever it comes to qualifying yourself … you should never, ever qualify yourself. Remember, whatever qualities you verbally tell her get totally and completely disregarded. So don’t answer such questions. Learn to cleverly side-step them. Oh no, she’s on to me! Run! Nah, I’m just kidding. What has you up so late? No work in the morning? Classic Agree and Amplify. By following it up with another line in quick succession changes the subject (and avoids the qualifying yourself issue), and also serves to remove the parity of conversation and allows for a more free flowing dialog LOL, no time for losers here! Already in bed, watching tv before I fall asleep There’s an opportunity here. It won’t always come up here. Sometimes you have to do a few rounds of pleasantries before you hit something like this where you stumble across an opportunity you can exploit. The question then becomes: Do you go for it? Option A: Don’t blow it here! Play it safe and show her you’re a decent guy. Option B: Be flirty and suggestive. Actually, this is the time for it. I told you it would happen eventually. Time to go with Option B. Just don’t be sleazy about it. You’re in bed for me already? What kind of guy do you take me for? “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me” Maybe But you’re actually older than me, that reference doesn’t apply Damn, I just can’t seem to get that crossed off my bucket list You have fantasies about older women? This the moment you know you’re in with her, when she starts asking questions. It shows she’s engaged and interested in you. Even better, you got her to ask about your sexual interests Doesn’t everybody? Even if she’s old and wrinkly? Yeah baby! Osteoporosis turn me on! It’s not a fun night unless someone’s worried about throwing out a hip Agree and Amplify again Eww, bad mental imagery there As if your sexual bucket list is any better? There’s a few things still left on it winky face emoji Do tell Do you have a pic? This is a really good sign. By dodging your question, she’s starting to be more assertive in the conversation and not just being a passive dead fish. It means he’s interested and invested in the conversation. Even better, you got her to ask for the pic, that’s bonus points. From here, things are moving freely. My only suggesting in moving forward is to make it flirty and not brazenly sexual. In fact, let the conversation meander in and out of sexual stuff. You’ll win a lot of points that way. The priority, however, is to get the conversation there in the first place. This is the thought process behind having a plan. This is a concrete example of how to transition from the pleasantries of “Hi, how are you?” to “Tell me what’s on your sexual bucket list.” Most guys cannot do this well. They either play it safe from the beginning and it goes nowhere, or they get overly aggressive and get rejected. But with a little bit of anticipation, you can easily guide the conversation to where you want it without it feeling stilted and awkward. |
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I guess I must be lucky then, I have met and had affairs with three people since I joined this site. I am with the third one still and have been for more than a year. Everyone is different and there is no one size fits all. “For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Much like this site  Visit my Blog for my adventures.
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I understand women don't need to send messages and they get plenty.Popularity does have some adverse effects,showing very little interest, there is always someone better,acting like they had the same conversation 15 times already and of course, poof! I didn't know the antisocial behaviors had gotten this far.If people can't speak or write extemporaneous thoughts there isn't really much use for them.Speaks of complete failure in the common sense department Using more than all the road!
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This is a great how to guide hun.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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Never had a conversation follow a script. Trick is simple you have to actually listen to what is being said and then respond sensibly. “For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Much like this site Visit my Blog for my adventures.
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Reposting the dialog itself so you can see what it looks like without all my thoughts and narration in between. How was your weekend? Get to go out and enjoy the good weather? Stayed in the entire weekend. Caught up on sleep I finally got to whip out the barbecue. After a long hibernation, I gorged myself on meat Cool. Didn’t spend the weekend with anyone? Would have been a nice day to spend in the park with someone. No bf or anything? And don’t tell me you don’t have one. No, nothing serious. Could have used some company Nothing here either. Just got out of a relationship about a year ago. Just biding my time until someone special comes along I know how that goes, too many losers out there, or guys with a ton of baggage Oh no, she’s on to me! Run! Nah, I’m just kidding. What has you up so late? No work in the morning? LOL, no time for losers here! Already in bed, watching tv before I fall asleep You’re in bed for me already? What kind of guy do you take me for? “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me” Maybe But you’re actually older than me, that reference doesn’t apply Damn, I just can’t seem to get that crossed off my bucket list You have fantasies about older women? Doesn’t everybody? Even if she’s old and wrinkly? Yeah baby! Osteoporosis turn me on! It’s not a fun night unless someone’s worried about throwing out a hip Eww, bad mental imagery there As if your sexual bucket list is any better? There’s a few things still left on it winky face emoji Do tell Do you have a pic? As you can see, a SUBSTANTIAL amount of thought goes into every line of what is said.
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