Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > smg991 > Kinks & Quirks |
high sex drive...and trying to be a good girl...
|
high sex drive...and trying to be a good girl... i have been slowly coming to accept that my sex drive rivals those of most men. over the years, i have wondered what was wrong with me since my bfs could never keep up; didn't want to keep up. and at the end of the day, i'm a monogamy girl - not into a ton of lovers (i recently broke the double digit mark - in my 40s - and freaked out a bit) and i'm not into casual sex. but in my head, i think i'm a nympho because i absolutely adore sex. from the first moment i had it at 19, i have loved every bit of the sensations around being touched, kissed, licked and fucked. but really I'm a good girl, i want to say. i want to erase all the bad thoughts; the semi aroused state that i find myself in all the time; the insatiable need i have to come over and over again with a man's fingers on me or a man's cock in me. this is a serious issue. I don't want my insatiable lust to define me as a person. having a high sex drive doesn't make me promiscuous or not selective or greedy (okay maybe a little greedy - but silently so). i do want to be loved and talked with and cuddled and called affectionate names other than . and i am always<b> ashamed </font></b>after. i often blush over what i've done. but i can't help wanting what i want. all i can do is not say it out loud. not asking for it. which is all frustrating as hell but at least offers me the illusion that i am still a good girl. cause, here's the thing. a well dressed man talking to me intelligently, articulately and actually listens to what i say can get me wet just like that. cause a man who brushes up against my breast on the train and smells fantastic and smiles with a sexy grin and eyes that crinkle at the corners can get me wet just like that. cause when i am at the gym and lifting heavier and stronger and i catch the eye of an athletic guy in the mirror as he notices the definition in my arms, i get wet just like that. cause when i'm in a business meeting and presenting to a room full of powerful men who don't know i'm going commando under my skirt and they are paying attention to what i'm saying, i get wet just like that. cause when i'm cuddling on the couch with a guy i just started seeing and we're watching a movie and he nuzzles my neck, i get wet just like that. cause when a man i'm sleeping with whispers to me that i'm his "dirty little cock sucking " i get wet just like that. i truly am in a semi-aroused state most of the day. i usually think about sex at least 100 times a day. because sex is never far from my thoughts; because my sexual fantasies are so vivid, i can almost smell and taste everything i'm thinking and it garners a physical reaction. because i literally have to close my legs tight and bring my focus back to my work most of the work day. and then i hear about women who can take or leave sex when they have a partner. that it's something they sometimes have to do. or occasionally go through the motions to keep their husbands happy. and i think, wtf is wrong with me that it's never ever like that for me? i could do it everyday and sometimes all day. when i do get it, i revel in it; enjoy it completely; don't want it to end.... but i still want to be seen as a good girl. and i'm shy when it comes to admitting my sexual idiosyncrasies. i never admit any of this in public. i seldom admit this to a bf. and i never admit this to friends. i just want to be a good girl. and i want to be fucked hard and often. can the two co-exist? |
Become a member to create a blog
