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| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
Have you seen my sanity?
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Have you seen my sanity? I lost it somewhere between the moment my hair dryer blew up in my hand and the moment I accidentally maced myself with dry shampoo... I blame it on the Wolowitzes. It's a certainty that I may never recover from the PTSD I incurred as a result of hearing them have SEX this morning. Oh good lord! While I didn't hear any actual *sex* noises.... Thank God! I did hear her raspy, I smoked a carton of Kool's, voice from down below moaning... "Oh John.... Oh John.... Oh John...." It didn't take me long to get my disgusted ass out of there! I don't think this woman is capable of communicating in any form quieter than stadium roar. If it's not at the top of her lungs, it's not worth saying!! So, here I sit now. Red eyed, traumatized, and the underlying smell of burned hair has wafted through my apartment..... Happy Sunday! I'm off to a new hair dryer and some hard liquor. Maybe an eyepatch... |
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Did she burst into song after he left? "Johnny, Remember Me...." 
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Did you ever actually have any sanity? I reckon a set of ear plugs would work well too. And you could download one of those fart apps and play it on repeat loudly at the point where the worst of the sound pollution occurs? Maybe a couple of stink bombs to make it more realistic? 
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Did she burst into song after he left? "Johnny, Remember Me...." 
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Did you ever actually have any sanity? I reckon a set of ear plugs would work well too. And you could download one of those fart apps and play it on repeat loudly at the point where the worst of the sound pollution occurs? Maybe a couple of stink bombs to make it more realistic?
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I got tried of my neighbor running her mouth about me and telling everyone I had 5 guys over and knowing good we'll she can see who goes and comes from somebody my apartment. If I had that many guys I would not be able to walk. I paid her back one night when I heard her and her boyfriend . I turn my phone to porn and hit the volume up as high as it would go and put it by my bed since her bedroom is next to mine. Not a word from her since.
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I think I saw your sanity on my milk carton. I didn’t think it was you since the person looked like she had stuck her finger in the toaster and tripped into the bathtub. But now that I look closely, yep. That’s your sanity.
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you might pick up a bottle of brain bleach while you're out... 
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you need a hug and some noise canceling headphones 
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you need a hug and some noise canceling headphones
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2/28/2021 7:43 pm |
you might pick up a bottle of brain bleach while you're out...
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I think I saw your sanity on my milk carton. I didn’t think it was you since the person looked like she had stuck her finger in the toaster and tripped into the bathtub. But now that I look closely, yep. That’s your sanity. My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment
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Well... I'm not completely innocent in all this.... They've probably heard me have sex way more than I've heard them. And, I'm talking the hair pulling and spanking kind....
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I got tried of my neighbor running her mouth about me and telling everyone I had 5 guys over and knowing good we'll she can see who goes and comes from somebody my apartment. If I had that many guys I would not be able to walk. I paid her back one night when I heard her and her boyfriend . I turn my phone to porn and hit the volume up as high as it would go and put it by my bed since her bedroom is next to mine. Not a word from her since. The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness. 
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I thought to suggest ear plugs too, or some really really loud opera! 
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And I forgot..........Aaaaaargh, there she blows!!!!!!! 
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Oh, I was tempted.... Decided against it. Lol
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Now you have reminded me of the couple upstairs having sex when I lived in the apartment beneath theirs in Oxford, Ohio. When they had sex on Sunday evening, the head board banged the wall which was easy to hear with my bed headed to the same wall. Slow bangs at first. Then it was like the drywall was going to come apart. Damn them.  amp;
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Now you have reminded me of the couple upstairs having sex when I lived in the apartment beneath theirs in Oxford, Ohio. When they had sex on Sunday evening, the head board banged the wall which was easy to hear with my bed headed to the same wall. Slow bangs at first. Then it was like the drywall was going to come apart. Damn them.
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And I forgot..........Aaaaaargh, there she blows!!!!!!!
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Own that Pirate body baby!!!!! 
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I thought to suggest ear plugs too, or some really really loud opera! Elevate me... 
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Indeed, it is days like these that hard liquor was invented for!
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Sounds like a plan. 👍 🍷🍷😎❗
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Ear Plugs?
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2/28/2021 1:14 pm |
Indeed, it is days like these that hard liquor was invented for! Please become an Apollo602021 blog follower!
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