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| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
Crockpot Catastrophe
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Crockpot Catastrophe We've all been there.... Trolling through the Faceplace, laughing at memes, discovering what our 90 year selves will look like, and tagging ourselves in recipes we 'plan' make at some point. I'm guilty as charged! Why yes! Yes I absolutely DO want know what my stripper elf name is!! I can make a pie using a can of Sprite and a stick of butter?? Count me in God dammit!! Is that Bernie Sanders wearing his mittens clenched between the Jaw's shark's teeth?? I am literally ROFLMAO!!! I was trolling through Faceplace when I happened upon a recipe for crockpot chicken enchilada casserole. Five ingredients, 4 hours in a crockpot, literally no effort on my part.... Now THIS is my type of recipe. Um, yah.... No, it was not. So, there I was. I tagged myself on the recipe and commented on my profile that I was cooking it up. Documenting my journey with pics, my Faceplace peeps were all anxious see how the recipe turned out. The problem with the combination of me and cooking is.... I'm a terrible cook. I try my fucking hardest, but nothing EVER seems turn out. This crockpot nightmare was proof of that.... I cooked the chicken in the enchilada sauce, I shredded it, I added the corn tortilla shells, the cheese, and the black olives. I did everything EXACTLY like the recipe said. In the picture, the casserole was a gooey, cheesy glop of delicious succulence. In reality, I had a dried out hunk of cheesy shredded chicken sitting on spongy mush. My taste buds were cringing in horror just at the thought of eating this hot mess. I recoiled in disgust when I scooped out the first spoonful and heard it plop onto the plate. Ack! Everyone had wanted to know how the casserole turned out..... So I documented that disaster as well. And the truth came out.... If the key to a man's heart is through his stomach, my fate is sealed. He would have to have a cast iron gut to want to purposely eat my cooking. |
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2/7/2021 3:58 pm |
Nobody asked her about knowing someone else with a crock pot episode. Worked with canned artichokes. Wanted to taste fresh but undercooked mine. And didn't Parboil eggplant for Lasagna.. Learned Cooking Basics from my Mom. First Cooking Job 1987 Chi- Chi's. North Olmsted Ohio. Hot Prep position...ty
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What is cottage pie?  
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I may have to take you up on that....
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I usually only cook for myself & simple stuff. I'm not very picky. I don't know what my stripper elf name is, but my porn name is "Bigfoot Louis"!!
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for you? always 
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Maybe the chicken cooked in enchilada sauce would be good for shredded chicken tacos! You would still use the cheese and maybe even the black olives, plus some lettuce and tomatoes...bit of sour cream. Crock pots are good to cook with, but they are all so different. Makes it almost impossible to figure out cooking times and temps.
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I'm sure what you lack in cooking you make up for in a "special" ability.
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I've never tried the crock pot but my s-i-l in NJ swears by hers, and she's a great cook! I hope you're well, lovely McLade. 
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So sorry .it was no good. Did you read the reviews of others. I go bye the most star for a meal to make. I have had many good dinner I made. Some not so good. I just made a venison neck roast yesterday in my crock Smells so good in here even today. Basic pot roast Potatoes , carrots, celery, onion, garlic, mushroom, chicken stock, I added a very powder soup mix of chetter cheese with broccoli, I season the neck to my liking and poured a warn bottle of Sam Adams cranberry stout beer over it let it cool 9 he on low.. Hear the important thing with deer meet. Do not stir it let it cool then orbit in the fridge or outside door the fat to harden then remove all the white fat off the top. You do not want to mix the fat around the veg it like a heavy wax and it sucks. I'll enjoy it tonight. I love to cook you would die for my steaks , chicken, and pork.xoxoxoxo then we can work it all off was way.dessert of I bake too.
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I was embarrassed when younger for my lack of cooking skills. I’m older now. So, I’m over it. Trying can be fun if no pressure. I wont cook for a crowd.
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I'm a terrible cook myself. I once made a cottage pie but it was condemned when it came out of the oven!
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I ate by mistake a year old french fry while cleaning my car so I do know how it can be sometimes! 
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2/4/2021 2:30 pm |
I ate by mistake a year old french fry while cleaning my car so I do know how it can be sometimes! Please become an Apollo602021 blog follower!
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Do you cook for others?
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I'm a terrible cook myself. I once made a cottage pie but it was condemned when it came out of the oven!
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I was embarrassed when younger for my lack of cooking skills. I’m older now. So, I’m over it. Trying can be fun if no pressure. I wont cook for a crowd.
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So sorry .it was no good. Did you read the reviews of others. I go bye the most star for a meal to make. I have had many good dinner I made. Some not so good. I just made a venison neck roast yesterday in my crock Smells so good in here even today. Basic pot roast Potatoes , carrots, celery, onion, garlic, mushroom, chicken stock, I added a very powder soup mix of chetter cheese with broccoli, I season the neck to my liking and poured a warn bottle of Sam Adams cranberry stout beer over it let it cool 9 he on low.. Hear the important thing with deer meet. Do not stir it let it cool then orbit in the fridge or outside door the fat to harden then remove all the white fat off the top. You do not want to mix the fat around the veg it like a heavy wax and it sucks. I'll enjoy it tonight. I love to cook you would die for my steaks , chicken, and pork.xoxoxoxo then we can work it all off was way.dessert of I bake too.
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I've never tried the crock pot but my s-i-l in NJ swears by hers, and she's a great cook! I hope you're well, lovely McLade.
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2/4/2021 3:56 am |
I'm sure what you lack in cooking you make up for in a "special" ability.
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Maybe the chicken cooked in enchilada sauce would be good for shredded chicken tacos! You would still use the cheese and maybe even the black olives, plus some lettuce and tomatoes...bit of sour cream. Crock pots are good to cook with, but they are all so different. Makes it almost impossible to figure out cooking times and temps. Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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It is ! but you have to know what to feed him  Now if you said, 'crochpot' - 
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While us men do enjoy a good meal (let's face it who doesn't), a lot of us also enjoy cooking and are pretty good at it. So dear lady you just need to find someone who loves to do all the cooking, lol. Honestly though I'm always a bit dubious about some of the recipes on the face place.
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Haha. Thanks for sharing
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some of us can cook for ourselves...well
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LOL sorry for your failed dish. Maybe there was too much cheese, maybe you need a new crockpot, any number of things could have gone kerflewey. I love my crockpot, but because most recipes are geared for 4 or more servings, and I usually only make 2 or 3 servings at a time, the timing has to be reduced. By how much is anyone's guess, I'm still working on it. But the other day I did something with dried beans and after almost 24 hours the beans are still not quite soft enough for my preference. Maybe I'll use a stick blender to mush it all up.
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