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Heartless Psycho  

secret_lade 49F
14128 posts
12/26/2019 2:45 am
Heartless Psycho


I had a dream about you last night....

Perhaps you are right, perhaps your nick for me was correct all along, maybe I am a heartless psycho.

Maybe I'm not.

I finally took your pictures down and hid them away.... Funny how something simple like that can have such a feeling of finality. It had been hard for me to do, you had become my best friend, my confidant, and it was SO hard for me to leave that behind.

Oldest - You really did dump the Hippie.

Me - Why do you say that?

Oldest - His pictures are gone. He was a<b> weird </font></b>fucker, he didn't hunt or anything.

Me - He wasn't raised that way... You know that. His Mother followed a Guru around for years, I'm sure they preached peace and love.

Back to the dream....

In my dream we were on the beach. The sun was shining and the day was absolutely beautiful.... It was our favorite beach spot from a couple of summers ago when the water levels weren't so high at Sturgeon. I looked over at you and you smiled, your crazy hat nearly covering your eyes.

And I woke up.

I'm tearing up a little as I write this because I was a Heartless Psycho when I ended things. I've never had an issue ending anything.... I just say that's it, and that's it.

Final.

But there are times when I miss having that friend that I could just talk about my day with, and laugh about the stupid shit I experienced, and cry over the frustrating stress I deal with.

I tear up because, our time has passed.

fwblook4unow 48M

1/21/2020 2:35 am

So sorry that you feel so alone and miss that interaction with someone you care for...and who loves you back.


gardenguy1119 70M
134 posts
1/8/2020 4:10 pm

Wow! That brought back memories of someone I was close to a longtime ago. It was the part about lying in the sun on the beach that did it!


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/27/2019 3:27 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I had a dream about my ex and 2 of her girlfriends. It was so weird I couldn't go back to sleep.
I wasn't able to go back to sleep after this dream, either. It seemed very real.


mc_justmc 63M

12/27/2019 7:50 am

I had a dream about my ex and 2 of her girlfriends. It was so weird I couldn't go back to sleep.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/26/2019 3:40 pm

Yep


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/26/2019 3:39 pm

    Quoting seems6666:
    You're moving on and healing,, new year new start. Your dreams are just helping you to heal.
New year, new start. I like that. Thank you....


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/26/2019 3:38 pm

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    It's hard to let go

    I believe that we define ourselves

    challenges confront us and we have to deal with him

    sometimes, it takes time

    plus, without change we cannot grow

    made me think of this

    Civil Twilight - "Human"

    There's one way out and one way in
    Back to the beginning
    There's one way back to home again
    To where I feel forgiven
    What is this I feel, why is it so real
    What am I to say
    It's only love, it's only pain
    It's only fear, that run through my veins
    It's all the things you can't explain
    That make us human
You are right, without change we cannot grow. I was wanting more, but he was wanting to stay the same.... My inability to grow was making me increasingly unhappy.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/26/2019 3:34 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Stuff Happens... doesn't it?
    I'm going to clean my closet and throw out (donate) clothes that I no longer wear.
    Cleaning up is good. Go for it! 👍
Cleaning up is good. It was time for me to move on.... Had been for a while, but I had grown accustomed to our conversations. At least I can share a little of that stuff here....


Paulxx001 66M
22642 posts
12/26/2019 9:55 am

Stuff Happens... doesn't it?
I'm going to clean my closet and throw out (donate) clothes that I no longer wear.
Cleaning up is good. Go for it! 👍


easy_going2014 57M
14366 posts
12/26/2019 8:30 am

It's hard to let go

I believe that we define ourselves

challenges confront us and we have to deal with him

sometimes, it takes time

plus, without change we cannot grow

made me think of this

Civil Twilight - "Human"

There's one way out and one way in
Back to the beginning
There's one way back to home again
To where I feel forgiven
What is this I feel, why is it so real
What am I to say
It's only love, it's only pain
It's only fear, that run through my veins
It's all the things you can't explain
That make us human

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


seems6666 53F  
4838 posts
12/26/2019 4:58 am

You're moving on and healing,, new year new start. Your dreams are just helping you to heal.


Kickjay63687 41M
65 posts
12/26/2019 4:15 am

Wow


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
12/26/2019 2:46 am

Heartless Psycho

I had a dream about you last night....

Perhaps you are right, perhaps your nick name for me was correct all along, maybe I am a heartless psycho.

Maybe I'm not.

I finally took your pictures down and hid them away.... Funny how something simple like that can have such a feeling of finality. It had been hard for me to do, you had become my best friend, my confidant, and it was SO hard for me to leave that behind.

Oldest Son - You really did dump the Hippie.

Me - Why do you say that?

Oldest Son - His pictures are gone. He was a weird fucker, he didn't hunt or anything.

Me - He wasn't raised that way... You know that. His Mother followed a Guru around for years, I'm sure they preached peace and love.

Back to the dream....

In my dream we were on the beach. The sun was shining and the day was absolutely beautiful.... It was our favorite beach spot from a couple of summers ago when the water levels weren't so high at Sturgeon. I looked over at you and you smiled, your crazy hat nearly covering your eyes.

And I woke up.

I'm tearing up a little as I write this because I was a Heartless Psycho when I ended things. I've never had an issue ending anything.... I just say that's it, and that's it.

Final.

But there are times when I miss having that friend that I could just talk about my day with, and laugh about the stupid shit I experienced, and cry over the frustrating stress I deal with.

I tear up because, our time has passed.


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