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Funny Jokes #6
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Funny Jokes #6 Same disclaimer as the first posting. ---------- SPOONS A couple was dining at a rather upscale restaurant. As they glanced around, they noticed all the waiters had a shirt pocket full of spoons and a string hanging out of their zipper. Out of curiosity, the husband mentioned this observation to their waiter. The waiter paused and explained that the owner had recently employed an efficiency expert to help contol costs. Spoons were the most often utensil knocked to the floor or otherwise needing replacement. In order to reduce trips to the kitchen for replacements, the waiters all carried an extra supply in their pocket. The couple thought about it for a second and agreed that made good sense. The wife then asked about the string hanging from their zippers. The waiter sheepishly replied that the same efficiency expert found the waiters could reduce time during bathroom breaks by avoiding the routine handwashing routine. The strings allowed them to pull their cocks out of their pants without touching them. The wife thought for a second. "Well that makes sense for getting your cocks out of your pants, but how do you get them back in?" The waiter looked around and replied, "I don't know about the others, but I just use a spoon". Next time, just ask for a clean fork....... ---------------------------------------- How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? ...it's not hard... ---------------------------------------- The Rules of Bedroom Golf: Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. ---------------------------------------- Voting is like sex. You'll be made a bunch of promises. The actual voting will take about two minutes and then you'll never hear from them again. ---------------------------------------- I told the I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. So they unplugged my computer and threw out my wine. ---------------------------------------- |
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