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Men can't be victims
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Men can't be victims I came across an old article in the Globe and Mail about Canada's sexual assault laws. In it, the<b> author </font></b>says "And it [sexual assault] happens to women in Canada every 17 minutes." And I thought, wow what a shitty statistic. Women sure do have it hard, I wonder what the statistic is for men? Well I will tell you, he didn't have one. And he didn't even bring one up either, in fact the only mention of men in this article were as the assailants. Men can fend off a woman. Men always want it. Those are the two most common answers I hear when talking to friends about this, not that it is a normal conversation with me. I once tried to tell me best friend that my girlfriend had sexually assaulted me and he thought I was joking. I was a foot taller than her, and was almost twice her weight. I even showed him the wounds she left on me and he just thought it was more kinky shit I was into. I gave up trying to convince him. Me and my girlfriend at the time had a very tumultuous relationship, on and off for four years. For me I had trouble letting go because I had a lot of self esteem issues and I thought I would never have another chance to have a girl as hot or as perfect as she was. She also had some self esteem issues, but on top of that I took her virginity. And for both of us this was our first serious relationship. Late in the third year of this relationship we had just started talking again, I had cheated on her (again) and she moved in with her parents. So things were going well, reconciling, cuddling. She is staying the night and we start getting into it, when she asks if she can chain me up and fuck me. At the time had no experience with this but was interested so I agreed. I had two pieces of chain in my closet, belts from my punk phase, that she used to chain my arms and legs to the bed starfish style. She gets into it, nibbling and sucking various parts. She leaves to grab a candle and starts dripping wax on me. So far I'm enjoying myself. Quick sidenote here. I had right from the beginning suggested the term "mailbox" be our safeword, in case she was uncomfortable with anything and she always said "We don't need a safeword, I trust you to know where the line is." I always told her this wouldn't work as roleplay scenarios were different but she insisted, so I always had to err on the side of caution and treat no as no. Then she went to the bathroom and I hear glass shatter. I call out and asked if she was alright and only got a response when she walked out of the bathroom holding a shard of glass like a dagger. "What are you doing with that?" I had asked, fairly nervous. She straddled me and used it to carve "U R MINE" onto my chest, deep enough to draw blood. I kept telling her no, and stop, and mailbox. But none of that worked. Once she was done with that she grabbed a box of matches and started lighting them and dropping them on me. When your arms and legs are chained to the bed that tightly you only have so much head movement and I couldn't blow out all the matches in time. She also straddled my face and punched me if I stopped licking her. This took place over the course of two hours and once she was done she just left me like that and went home. It would be another hour or two before a friend who lived upstairs knocked on the door because he "had a bad feeling". I told him to come in an unchain me, which he did. A day later was when I saw my best friend and tried to tell him what had happened to me. It was then I realized that no one takes this seriously, that it's a joke. So to me for a long time that's what it was to me a joke. About a year later I dumped her for good, I couldn't handle it anymore. So the last seven years I've kept this a secret and told no one else. Just you. |
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"About a year later I dumped her for good"...... you moron! Don't waste your time with having a girlfriend, just "Date" all the women you can. That would have helped you with your esteem issues, much faster. Sexual assault on men usually always goes unreported, so that's why you can't find good census on the subject. Bet you didn't report your assault. Men don't like doing that because of ego. "I'm bigger, it shouldn't of happened", well that's nonsense. The smaller and physically weaker the assailant is, the more they rely on tricks and drugs.
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I am sorry this happened to you. The laws need to be changed regarding this, and men should not feel ashamed to report it any more than women should. Glad you got yourself free of what was obviously an abusive relationship. Hugs 
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I'm going to add my voice to the many, and tell you how sorry I am this happened to you. Thank you for sharing. Live life to it's fullest! If you're bored, Read Hugs Gypsy
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MrPirate89 replies on 6/15/2016 2:44 pm: @Heathen_G, yeah I am a moron. I'm also still a moron because every once in a while I fantasize about travelling back in time and telling myself to either fix it [the relationship] or run away. As far as "dating" all the women I can, well I'm picky about who I take to bed now but I at least have the courtesy to call the relationship as it is, friends with benefits. Don't know if that's what helped my self esteem issues, but I don't have them anymore. And no I didn't report it. And yes it was because of ego, and perception. ---------------------------------- Girls you date, you take to bed, they don't have to be 'friends with benefits'. It's just dating ['Dating" aka : getting sex]. Okay, you didn't report it, and this is why there are not enough [or no] relevant statistics on male sexual abuse.
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MrPirate89 replies on 6/15/2016 8:11 pm: I've always understood dating to be when two people are seeing each other and trying to determine compatibility for a relationship. Since no one told me directly what it was I figured I would google it, and wikipedia backs me up on that. As far as reporting statistics go yeah they are in the shitter. CDC did a survey a couple years back, nearly 1 in 5 women suffered sexual assault in their lifetime, and 1 in 21 men suffered the same. So we do have relevant statistics for this, but we need more than this. We need relevant solutions. ------------------------------------------------- I've always understood dating to be when two people are seeing each other and trying to determine compatibility for a relationship. .... In 1959 and below, yes, because having sex out of wedlock was against the law. Sure, if you're ready, you can still date a woman to see if there is enough relationship compatibility. But today, "Dating" = "Sex". This is why we have terminology such as , "Hanging out", when it's not sexual. After 1960 "Dating" became something you'd do to get sex because sex was now legal to have without being married. Only because you date a woman, does not, in any way, mean you're looking for a commitment. As far as reporting statistics go yeah they are in the shitter. .. Yes. The international "Slut Walks" [that represent the anti-r_pe culture] only one or two men, out of hundreds of women, actually march with the women and speak up about his own sexual abuses he has suffered. CDC did a survey a couple years back, nearly 1 in 5 women suffered sexual assault in their lifetime, and 1 in 21 men suffered the same. ... Yes, but I'll bet realistically 1 in 21 would be closer to 6 in 21, if men did more reporting. We need relevant solutions. ... You can't have solutions if problems are not reported. Look at the women, they've identified a problem, and have gone completely overboard with their solutions. For example, any University Campus across the United States, has become a threatening environment for the male student, and now we have lowest male attendance ever, in colleges across the country. "Now, on campuses throughout the country, we face the prospect of academic committees , armed with vague definitions of sexual assault , low standards of proof, and official sanction for the notion that sex under the influence is , ipso facto, assault or r_pe, deciding the fate of the [male] students accused of a serious crime" ~ [From the book: "Men on Strike" by Helen Smith PhD] "The double standard also extends to men's sex lives at college. Women are encouraged to explore their sexuality without consequences, while the male students are held responsible for their sexual acts, OFTEN without due process. " ~ [From the book: "Men on Strike" by Helen Smith PhD] You should give that book a read.
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