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| Blogs > gymrat1974 > ManwranglerJen |
Giving generously and generously, too.
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Giving generously and generously, too. This is a bit off the beaten path maybe, but I've been writing everything but Senior Sizzle type material these days. I have had mixed thoughts when it comes to homeless people and giving. These views come from personal and professional experiences as well as emotional and practical views. I've seen shady dealings and even heard a few stories that have made me not want to give. I've struggled to move beyond these things. Anyone who knows my dad could tell you he is the nicest most unassuming man in the world. He is generous without consideration of his own limitations or needs. He once gave a man who entered the sitting area at his golf course $20. Only, he didn't actually have $20 in his possession at the time. He borrowed it from the register. I remember having to drive over to the golf course to replace the money before the end of my dad's shift. But my dad never carries money. He hardly ever goes too far without my mom, and she is the designated cash and credit card carrier. He always worked to make a more than decent living, and that was the extent of his financial considerations. money went into the bank, my mom's purse, and the drawer at home. And it was actually this type of thing that stole my own desire to give of myself. My dad once stopped and offered someone on the side of the road the few dollars he had in his car. The man sneered at my dad and said he didn't take McDonald's money, and then he walked away without accepting the proffered money. I was livid after hearing about it, and I vowed I would never give anyone on the side of the road money, no matter how desperate he appeared. It's not a matter of it being my business what one does or how he reacts when given money. It's the idea that someone would be so cruel to someone as friendly and nice as my dad. And if someone is homeless and hungry, wouldn't he absolutely take McDonald's money? I know I would gladly accept McDonald's money. I would take a quarter if I had empty pockets and an empty stomach. Why didn't this guy? Was he some sort of con artist? And did that mean all beggars were con artists? My dad gave what he had in his possession. To have it be refused as too little had to be mortifying beyond words. It's taken years for me to move beyond that moment, though I know it hasn't stopped my father from being kind hearted. Of course, my professional experience has also helped shape my thoughts and opinions as far as giving is concerned, and I have to admit it has also left me a bit narrow minded. As a mental health worker, I know there is a high rate of homelessness among the mentally ill. I also know that a person who is mentally ill and wandering the streets will not generally ask for help. He is more than likely delusional and paranoid and otherwise symptomatic and would never get close enough to another person to beg for cash much less allow someone to get close enough to offer it. Even symptoms of depression make one incapable of reaching out for help. So, who exactly are these people out begging for money? I've had to remind myself that mental illness is one of many causes of homelessness today, and just because one is in control of his faculties, doesn't mean he couldn't use a hand. One doesn't have to be psychotic to be on the streets. Homelessness is a side effect of a poor economy. It is a result of a break down in the family unit. It's the result of a lack of health insurance and unexpected medical bills. It is the result of people being unwilling to help one another in a time of need.But our society doesn't see homelessness as a temporary affliction due to unforeseen circumstances. We often only see it as the as the result of drug addiction or an otherwise irresponsible lifestyle. We often refuse to donate to a beggar because we don't want to perpetuate or enable bad habits. Even in the case of the mentally ill, we often do nothing but wonder why he isn't receiving better care from someone else and what good a few cents would even do him. But it's really none of our business, is it? God does love a cheerful giver. And the giver is only responsible for the giving. Once relinquished, the is literally out of his hands. It's up to the receiver to be responsible with his gift. It's up to the the receiver to take another's generosity with a kind and open heart and do something positive with it. And if my dad is willing to continue giving freely with whatever he has in his possession, then I can certainly let go of my animosities and opinions to give with a generous heart and open mind. And I can even expect others to do the same. |
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