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| Blogs > gymrat1974 > ManwranglerJen |
You can have me, but you can't have my number.
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You can have me, but you can't have my number. Someone asked me for my phone number this morning after only one message back and forth. It seems to happen often. I prefer to not give my number out, though. I can't tell you how many times I have agreed to meet someone in public without having ever spoken to him on the phone first because I just didn't feel he was someone I wanted to feel tethered to. I'm sure that doesn't make any sense. I mean isn't it easier to talk on the phone than it is to physically meet someone? Well, it depends on how you look at it. Sometimes I meet these people and we the exchange numbers once we've met and it was a good situation, but sometimes I meet them and feel I really dodged a bullet. I've just learned over the years that it's easier sometimes to extricate oneself from a situation and disappear into the crowd than it is to politely get someone to stop calling and texting you so much. And once you give out your number, you've given someone access to your time and your privacy. Plus, I'm usually far too polite to tell people to get lost. I will very often continue to at least respond to texts occasionally, even once I have decided I'm not really interested in maintaining a correspondence. But sometimes even when I enjoy the communication, I find myself sorry I ever gave out my number. I have my phone on and with me nearly 24 hours a day. I use it to keep up with my . I use it for work, and I use it for business. And I do occasionally give it out to potential dates. And sometimes I have to say that it's not a bad thing when my phone doesn't ring. Of course, there are people I don't want to be without. You know the ones I mean. They are the ones who make you smile every time you hear from them. If your phone beeped, buzzed, chirped, or rang 93 times a day, it wouldn't be too much. But those people are precious and rare...and one needs to keep the line open for them as much as possible. |
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Its getting to the point of being ridiculous. You chat with someone for 5 minutes and they want your email, cell number, etc. Not going to happen. If I am interested enough to meet a potential playmate, we email and go from there. I have had my cell number for many years and I don't want to have to change it because some goof wants to text and call all day. I need to at least meet you in person to decide what I want information I want to share. Now, I did get google voice, got a new number, which is anonymous, and so far, it has worked out well for me. Only a few have the new number and it seems to be working how its supposed to.
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7/20/2016 8:16 am |
Just do what works for you. If the other person does not like it, you have your answer...move on.
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I have used google voice before, too. You're right. It's a good alternative. At other times, I just delay giving out my number. I don't have a problem dismissing or being dismissed by someone who couldn't be more patient. If I don't get the feeling someone is a person I would want to give my number to, then I certainly don't have a problem not hearing from them again in another outlet.
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On the other hand............after chatting with someone for a while, and making a plan to meet up, I have learned the hard way. Some women like to lead you on. YES! It's true! so, before I get in the car to drive to meet someone I need to hear them on the phone. It is my own safeguard against being sent on a wild goose chase. I understand all the arguments above, but there are often two sides to the story. I behave myself, and treat ladies with respect. I will usually offer my number to them first in good faith. If they return a message by texting, then this means they trust me enough for me to have their number. However, even so, I have been sent to a phony address before....it was my mistake not to talk to her first. And even SO, it doesn't guarantee the woman won't stand you up.
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Fair enough. However, I never said that days and days of emails were required. I've met people for coffee on the same day we started talking, no games, no fuss, no muss. No endless chatter, and no time wasted. And I love coffee, so even if I don't like you, it's a winning situation. And why would you show up at a phony address? If I tell you I'm going to meet you at Starbucks, it's not like you can't google search the address to see if it exists? If you agree to meet for coffee, and she is a no show, have you really lost out on that much?
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I agree withyou,I never give my number to anyone i meet here.At least not until i know them alot better and have met with them afew times and i know i can trust them not to burn up my phone.
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I absolutely do not give out my number until I meet someone in a very public place. There are simply too many risky people. If they won't meet first, I don't meet them at all.
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Ms gymrat, Well.....I remember contacting people from pay phones, for pretty much the same reasons as you suggest. Not every contact will end with fireworks and flowers, and in fact, some of them ARE going to end badly. Who needs the added grief of trying to extricate yourself from such a social disaster? But, as you also seem to allude, the entire Universe feels that EVERYthing has to be done through one's cel. We try as hard as we can to deflect these demands, as we're far more comfortable with a good old fashioned face to face. ( Like you, we quite enjoy coffee, both for the taste, and the ambiance of the shops ) Bur SOME people seem to believe they are well within their rights to Insist on pictures,emails,cel numbers, etc, after the briefest of interactions. Such an exhibition of bad manners at such an early juncture usually presages similar behavior in the future, so we consider Ourselves well within Our rights to discontinue contact. Ultimately, a venue such as this is about being able to insist on one's own parameters. The sharing of our bodies is a gift, not a payment. None of us is required to do any more or any less in this process than they deem satisfactory. Anyone who cannot see the reasonableness of that statement should perhaps re-evaluate how they engage in their pursuit...
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Gymrat, I love the way you think. In today's world, one should google the address of the establishment. Now, whether the person shows up or not is a different story. Hallpass, just because you have someones number doesnt always mean they are going to show up. But as gymrat said, if she is a no show, what is the big deal? Sit down, have a coffee or snack and waste no more time. I like having the google voice because if I encounter someone that likes to abuse having my number, I can always delete that number and never hear from them again. This isnt for everyone and we must do what is best for us and what we are comfortable doing. I just don't like strangers, whom I have never met, to have my actual phone number. Some things you just have to keep under wraps until you meet face to face. Prior to google voice, if I had a meet scheduled, I would confirm a few times during the day via my email, which I also use on my phone and most people do. That is one way to communicate. Then when you meet in person, you have a better feeling about the person. For me, if I meet someone in person and Im just not feeling it and not drawn to the person, whats the point of giving them my cell number? Yeah, I could block if I had that feature but with my cell plan, I have to pay extra to block people. Just my two cents worth. Thanks for listening.
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The message system on this site is for that purpose. I don't need anyone having my personal cell #, or reverse searching the number to find out who I am. If after a "session" I feel comfortable then we can exchange numbers. I have had many requests, but many of those couldn't even make it to an initial meet. They don't seem "deserving" of my number. If you don't stand for something , you will fall for anything ! 
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I've discovered over the years that I am generally pretty good at recognizing chemistry. While I love hearing the sound of one's voice, it isn't always required to know whether I will enjoy speaking to him or not. I've occasionally been pleasantly surprised to have more chemistry than I've thought, but it's been very rare to think I struck oil only to find it was sludge. I trust my instincts. You have to.
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Lots of discussion about phones... I was much more interested in finding out about the first part. Alas, I leave with no information regarding how I might have you. Could someone possibly recommend a reliable cellular carrier service? :3
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