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| Blogs > bipolybabe69 > "..yes I said yes I will Yes." |
Even While Sleeping...Still Hard at Work!
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Even While Sleeping...Still Hard at Work! I wrote What does it mean when you dream about your ex Then last night I dreamed about my ex-husband, who was not a character in the previous dreams. He and I were together in a monogamous relationship for 17 years and have now been divorced for almost 16 years. In my dream, my ex-husband came to me and suggested we get back together. He was certain that I'd fly into his arms, seeking the comfort and security I'd had to renounce in order to be free to explore my sexual desires and discover what's right and exciting for me. I admit I was tempted, because no one delights in our twins as much as he and I, and he always made me laugh a lot. Except, of course, during the years when we were miserable together and then for a few years post-divorce. But that nastiness lies behind us. He's happily married --for two years now-- to the woman he dated for 12 years --without living with her-- until our were out of the house. I asked about her, and, apparently, she had simply vanished. Dreams are convenient that way! I looked up at him. He looked much as I remember him the first time we met, him in the pink Oxford cloth button down shirt and Levi's 501 jeans. At age 31 to my 21, he was tall, good looking, youthful, but incredibly self assured. He looked like that again, rather than the thinning-on-top, thickening-in-the-middle, gray-haired 60ish guy I saw the other day fixing up the home we shared as he prepares to sell it. Then, I proposed the idea of an open relationship. He was steadfast in his idea that it was absolutely unacceptable to him. I gave all my best arguments for it. I did my best to persuade him. I was persistent, pretty much a French bulldog worrying a bone. (My parents were sure I would become an attorney, such was my fierce determination to win arguments with them.) My ex-husband was unmoved. (Pretty much the same response as my parents to my high school arguments about how my life would be ruined if I didn't go with my friends to the beer bust in the boonies.) I was sad because as much as I miss the comfort and security of being loved by someone who is stable and responsible, I require freedom to fly. And, in my dream, at least, I was convinced that non-monogamy was the only way for me. This morning I'm not so sure. I admit that I'd like to have a partner, someone who has my back, someone who adores me. Could I give up the sexual<b> exploration </font></b>that is an honest expression of my wild spirit without losing myself? On the other hand, why would someone who truly loves me as I am ask me to do so? Perhaps tonight's dream will offer some answers. {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie |
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good luck hope u find what u desire
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grins yes someone who truly loves you can ask you to do that. it doesn't mean that you do it. I have been truly loved by men who cannot deal with the idea of bdsm. or being bi. it doesn't mean they didn't love me the best way they could. it just means they didn't love me the way I wanted them to. so it's really your call in the end...what do you cede. if anything. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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