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Sex with an Ex: Verboten or Very Fine?
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Sex with an Ex: Verboten or Very Fine? Marc, an experienced poly lover of mine said, 1) "When you're poly, there's no reason to say 'Good bye' to a lover. You just move into a different phase." I happen to agree. However, Marc also said, 2) "It's fine to have a lover with whom you're working out the family of origin stuff as long as you don't try to make him your life partner." I've experienced both of these situations just recently. Example 1) I'm currently fucking just for fun my former primary partner Tom. He and I dated but never lived together for about five years. We broke up every 3-6 months in a tear-filled, painful maelstrom. When Tom said, "I'm done" the last time, so was I...until I got over being furious with him for not being the potential life partner I wanted and decided I liked him as a fuck buddy. After loads of drama (including the time I broke into his home and considered breaking every plate he owned; I didn't do it by the way), we've arrived at a cozy spot where we can go out to dinner, fuck, stay over and not get overwrought about it. Example 2) There's this guy, the last one I fucked more than three times: the one who was just not into me, the one I've called My Former Partner in Crime (FPIC), "THE TOTAL DICKHOLE," "Your Assholiness," (Hell hath no fury, etc.), but from now on, I'll just call him The Unavailable Guy (TUG, for short) because, in truth, he tugged at my heart but his was not available to me. (I believe I was trying to heal with my "Unavailable Daddy" issues, hence the dictum about "Don't try to make him your life partner.") From the beginning, THE TOTAL DICKHOLE (I guess I'm not quite over being angry!) told me he was unavailable and still in love with his soon-to-be-ex wife, but I believed I could change his mind, open his heart to me. So, TUG he is. But, man, I tell ya...I could see a wonderful future with this man because we had fun together. We were especially funny by text. The cruelest thing I ever said to him was, "I like you better by text." Then, I explained that, from a distance, I could myself that my love was requited. He said he was "fond" of me. I said I was infatuated. So we were honest with one another for the year we fucked off and on and fucked other people together and separately. TUG may have thought it was honesty when he told me THREE TIMES that he was "not emotionally connected to anyone." That was the last time I saw him. Because that was needlessly cruel. Now he is Verboten to me. Toxic. Addiction. I'm taking it day by day in not calling or texting him for a<b> booty call. </font></b>In fact, I have a Sexual Emergency Response Team (SERT) on speed dial (Jade, my new hot, squirting-all-over-my-bed BFF and her buff, sexy partner Sam) for those moments when I get an itchy dialing finger. So...where do you land about sex with an ex? {=}{=}{=} BiPolyBabe69 aka Angie |
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In my case, tis unfortunate, they're all passed away. Might be better that way anyhow.
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Sex with an ex....I've done it, but it was just sex for me and they didn't see it that way, so I reckon it was a mistake. I wasn't out to rekindle the romance, and they felt used. I wasn't out to do any harm, I just didn't care that much any more. I suppose if I had it to do over again...but that's a moot point. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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That will never happen... sex with my X. But I will say this... those who truely love, love unconditionally, and it never dies. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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