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Online Dating, Honesty and Sexual Compatibility
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Online Dating, Honesty and Sexual Compatibility "What's more interesting to you right now, sex or love?" innocently asks the online dating site I'm on in an attempt to improve my matches. I hesitated, wondering how to best answer this question and the numerous other ones about sexual preferences. This is where I struggle with online dating. I'd like to be in a relationship, to spend time with someone who I adore and consider my best friend and confidant. A woman who shares my values, who will push me to be better and who I can encourage in return. A partner who cares about her career, the future, friends and family. But also a woman with a high libido, an interest in sex and a healthy desire to explore her sexuality. The classic "professional woman by day,<b> insatiable </font></b>and naughty woman at night", I suppose. Not that Senior Sizzle is the right place to find a long-term relationship and I don't have that expectation. But wouldn't it be nice? Our kinky interests, fantasies and adventures are already shared here. There's common ground already. But on a "regular" dating site, how much does a guy share of these interests? Answering them honestly (that I have a high sex drive, enjoy porn, toys and talking dirty, regularly masturbate, etc.), I imagine that I come off as a self-absorbed guy who thinks only with his cock. (This blog post undoubtedly makes me seem that way, I know.) If I answer them conservatively or don't answer these questions, I wonder if I come across too much as a prude. One fear is then that I meet a woman who shares my interest in sex, but who doesn't bring it up as she views me as being too vanilla. And I recognize that women may also struggle with this, perhaps self-conscious of answering the sex questions that could label them a "slut." I value honesty, but I struggle with when the right time and place is (if one exists!) to reveal my more adult-themed interests with prospective partners on a conventional dating site. It makes me happy (and admittedly a bit envious!) to see all the couples on here, people who have found spouses/partners who have similar, compatible interests both in and out of the bedroom. If I might only be so lucky as to one day enjoy being on here with someone too! Would welcome your thoughts, suggestions and experiences. |
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From what I have seen on "vanilla" sites almost any suggestion regarding sex is going to get you almost nowhere. It is notably worse then here. I have totally avoided it there. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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