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Looking for Input Into FWB
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Looking for Input Into FWB I'm hoping for some input into what constitutes a FWB and why so many men go out of there way to chat with you, throw on all their charm, state that they are looking for something ongoing, meaning more than one time, because it only gets better, and then magically after meeting them once, POOF they vanish. If we are all adults and all your looking for is a one night stand, why don't men have the balls to say that? Ongoing FWB means just that, you continue to chat and keep in touch and see each other once in a while. Ive yet to find someone on Senior Sizzle who is honest and truthful and that truly makes me sad. With any type of relationship, including friendship, there should always be respect and being lied to over and over again shows nothing but disrespect. I wold love to hear the opinion of both men and women, and if you have any helpful advise I'm all ears. |
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Fully agree with you on this subject and it is hard to find true friends with benefits. I am lucky in this area as I have found a beautiful couple a few years younger than me with whom I have a great relationship, we enjoy each others company (sexual and non sexual). If people only want to meet once to satisfy their urges then go find a prostitute and get your rocks off that way and do not mess other genuine people around!
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I think men or women will tell a person what they want to hear. I believe most people on here, newbies and the ignorant, do not what FWB's means. They get that confused with NSA or fuck buddy. I've had three FWB's since joining here....all of them I met on here. One of them is now a GF and one FWB moved on and the other FWB is still a FWB. My GF knows I still play with her and we are still friends. Friends with Benefits means doing things outside the bedroom....going to dinner, wineries, hanging out, and just having fun. “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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I haven't been that lucky.
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I agree with your definition. I have no advise because I haven't found one either. But ... you have two choices as I see it. You can give up or continue slogging through all the losers in hopes of finding what you're looking for. Good luck. AB No Bozos
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I feel your pain!! I am having the same issue here in DC with the ladies!!! I am going to see if I have my first FWB in two weeks! We had our first meet and soon to have a second. At this point she is going to tell me if we will be FWB!!! Wish me luck!!!
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I can only suggest that two possible things are going on here... One is that he was not completely honest about his own desires or situation. Married men don't often have that much freedom to meet other people (Women) at will without arousing suspicion. Another possible suggestion is that you carefully and honestly examine any potential differences there might be in your reality and the picture that he was expecting to see before you met in person. I've only had one FWB relationship and I found her on this site many years ago when I still lived in another city. I was 100% honest with her from the start and that was a huge factor in how our relationship lasted 5 years before my having to move for my career made seeing each other too challenging. It's fantastic when it works, but in my opinion, honesty is the key. Sadly, that's a commodity that seems to be in short supply these days.
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Sometimes it isn't all devious. Sure I agree about the players who tell you anything you want just to get what they want, but I'm not that way. I'm guilty of thinking I like a woman more at first, then I get to know her better and it's WTF was I thinking. This is going nowhere. And I've been on the receiving end of that that as well. I prefer to be honest and upfront, but some people can't or don't care and just bail for whatever reason. Standards are people too.....kinda 
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It should be called FWL...sadly but that's what a lot do Btw that means friends with lies! For the most part a lot of us experience the same situation, for that same reason I tend to really get to know someone before ever meeting them. I still/Wantodou2
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It has nothing to do with balls at all.Aren't you part of this equation?Why keep getting disrespected over and over.?Take a little more time before you give in.If they stick around it's a better chance they may turn out to be a better candidate.We're only hearing your perspective.Are you saying you've never slept with someone and then cut off all contact or gotten what you wanted then come to the conclusion it wasn't going to work? Using more than all the road!
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This is a question or string of questions that can take many forms as it is answered. I have had FWB before and tried to always be Honest and Upfront right from the beginning. As was the other person with me. And as the FWB situation was developing I believe feelings were developing as well. as these feelings don't always continue on the same path. So this is where things start to unravel for both people involved. And choices are Not always the Best made ones and regrets are always felt later on. Being Honest once you really know some one can be Painful and hard to share. So I didn't Lie, I just didn't deal with the issues or didn't always offer what I was thinking unless I was asked. And I found this was also what I received in return. No excuse just My own personal experience with FWB relationships. They are all doomed to end at some point and find most don't always end like you hope or planned.
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It's easy to revive that old cant, "all men are dogs looking for one thing". While it's true that some men are game players, there is a significant issue here. What is your definition of FWB? This question comes up in the blogs and groups periodically and the one thing that is crystal clear is that the definition varies *wildly* from person to person. It's always a risk that two people are operating from different, but equally valid, perspectives. What do I do? Instead of using vague terms like FWB, I'll describe what it is that I'm looking for in terms of this relationship. So instead of "I'm looking for a FWB, I'd say something like Looking for a situation where we meet 2 or 3 times a week for sex, not interested in meeting your friends and vice versa" or "I'm looking for someone who will go with me to the movies or a baseball game and then we go to your house for sex." And while I know that some men are just looking to rack up numbers, I think that a lot of the time, they guy just isn't into the woman. Te first time you have sex with someone is really just an audition. Even a guy who is raccking up numbers will come back for seconds if he thinks it's worth it.
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For me.... it's all about meeting and seeing if there is a connection and you know it right from about 30 seconds in. We are all visual creatures and until you see someone in person you don't know for sure. Upon the initial meeting you KNOW if you want to see that person again (speaking for me not anyone else). If I meet them and they are nice but there isn't the spark I'm going to say, hey it was great to meet you I just don't feel there is a connection to take things to the next level and good luck in your search. Nothing personal just no spark. I would hope someone would give me the same courtesy if they weren't interested and I was.
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I too, agree with your view on friendship. I think the word "friend" is lost on far too many younger people. They're more into BFF's, until it's no long convenient, or they can no longer use that person, then they move on. I take the word seriously, and I don't use it lightly. When I say to someone I'd like to be their friend (as I did with YOU), it's unconditional, and not predicated on whether we have sex or not. If you're worth becoming a friend (and I say you definitely ARE), you're worth KEEPING! That's MY two cents worth.
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True but soon as you the truth women vanish too.
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