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Directionally Fucked ... :)
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Directionally Fucked ... :) My last visit to see my in-laws in Georgia gave me a new rule ... I'm never allowed to go out into anything that would, at the slightest, be considered "the woods" on my own. EVER AGAIN. Seems when I went into the backyard/woods to sneak a smoke, I had an issue of the directional kind. Sat on a tree stump, lit up, and just observed the scenery. Walked a bit to my left, or was it to my rite? Okies ... now I'm lost. All I see behind me are woods, trees, and dogs fenced in backyards barking, rather angrily. It was getting chilly and would be dark very shortly and I didn't have a coat on ... just a t-shirt, flip flops and shorts. I went into panic attack mode. All that was in front of me was a road. Yeah, I was fucked, imagine that, go figure. Am somewhere in the south in no mans land, was a good possibility I'd be the menu for dinner. Felt like I was staring in the movie "DELIVERANCE". Pretty sure I was going to die out there, or be barbecued by some mountain peeps who live in the woods ... ugh!! I get out my phone, which almost drops, but, of fucking course, and call my hubby ... me: I'm lost ... hubby: trixie, where are you? me: I was rite outside in the backyard, now I'm not ... hubby: I'm outside now and I don't see you. Stay where you are and Ill call you. *calls my name* Do you hear me? me: No, I'm scared, I don't know where the fuck I am ... hubby: What do you see in front of you? me: Uuummmm - a road with white lines ... hubby: Walk to the left ... me: *walking* hubby: Are you coming to a corner? me: No, all I see is more fucking trees ... hubby: trixie, did you walk to the left or rite ... Me: Uuummm, er, oh, I fucked up, I went rite. I'm cold and scared ... hubby: trixie, stop, now walk to the left, just walk ... me: I am going to get eaten by hillbillies ... hubby: trixie, just keep walking. Do you see the end of the road yet? me: Uuummm, no ... hubby: Just keep walking ... me: Not going to make it out alive. Should have willed my shoes collection to one of the girls ... hubby: You will see your shoes again. Keep walking ... me: This fucking sucks. My head is going to be on a dinner platter - an apple in my mouth ... hubby: See the road yet? me: I can't tell. Not wearing my glasses ... hubby: Just keep walking ... me: I see the road ... hubby: Walk to the end, then turn left, that's our street. I'll start to walk down and meet you ... me: Oh, good fucking lordy ...  In Luv, Lite, Laffter ... |
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I thought you were going to find s good fuck but you were actually fucking lost!
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Hahaha. Second time I'm using the word hysterical tonight only this one has both meanings. I'm sorry to laugh at your terror but the phone convo was too funny. Good thing you had it with you. Could you have used GPS? Or was there no address to plug in. All women are directionally challenged look at Amelia Earhart  she got famous for it. Glad you survived.Are you still hearing the banjos?Standards are people too.....kinda 
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Good that you got back safely.....be careful!
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I feel for you. I have no sense of direction even with a compass in my hand. Please don't let me be misunderstood.
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Trix, omg hun I bet you won't do that again huh.. I am so glad you had your phone on you and hubby was able to give you directions back home..Stay safe my friend.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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 "Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”― Immanuel Kant .
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5/7/2016 12:23 pm |
Funny story
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LOL - the wet paper bag thingy - count me in! In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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I thought you were going to find s good fuck but you were actually fucking lost! In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Only you In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Well I think I can safely say that the nomad gene in you got turned off. Not to worry, as Yogi said, "no matter where you go, there you are." In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Hahaha. Second time I'm using the word hysterical tonight only this one has both meanings. I'm sorry to laugh at your terror but the phone convo was too funny. Good thing you had it with you. Could you have used GPS? Or was there no address to plug in. All women are directionally challenged look at Amelia Earhart she got famous for it. Glad you survived.Are you still hearing the banjos?In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Good that you got back safely.....be careful! In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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I feel for you. I have no sense of direction even with a compass in my hand. In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Trix, omg hun I bet you won't do that again huh.. I am so glad you had your phone on you and hubby was able to give you directions back home..Stay safe my friend..In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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Funny story In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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And here I thought there was a HAPPY ENDING TO THIS....I MEAN A REAL HAPPY ENDING ....ROFLMBAOOO!!!
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And here I thought there was a HAPPY ENDING TO THIS....I MEAN A REAL HAPPY ENDING ....ROFLMBAOOO!!! In Luv, Lite, Laffter ...
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