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Blogs > 1981Neil > My Blog

All You Need is Glove  

1981Neil 42M
18 posts
5/8/2015 8:21 pm
All You Need is Glove

I habitually get up very early for work, and with the cold biting into my poorly-circulated fingers in the increasingly-chilly mornings, I recently decided to invest in a pair of woolly<b> gloves. </font></b>Makes sense, right? Unfortunately, the other morning, I made the fatal mistake of administering petrol to my car whilst wearing the gloves, and one of my fingers snagged on the pump and a thread was pulled loose. I thought snipping the protuberant thread would end the problem, but noticeable unravelling has resulted, and now the finger habitually pops out of the widening hole. Motherfucker. I don't want<b> gloves </font></b>bestowing the hobo look. I suppose I've learnt a valuable lesson - forget the knitted gloves, go with leather. But I fear the slippery slope - if I start with leather gloves, am I not obliged to accessorise with a leather cap and goggles? A sports coat? A scarf or cravat? A pair of Plus-fours? Brogues? A jalopy and/or biplane? Will an innocuous pair of leather<b> gloves </font></b>turn me into the Great Gatsby or the Red Baron??? And wouldn't it be disturbing if I found this to be sartorially satisfying?

EDITED VERSION TO MAKE THIS ANECDOTE SEXY:

"...fingers...pump...protuberant...widening hole...slippery...satisfying..."

1981Neil 42M
8 posts
5/11/2015 5:35 am

 I figure I should get gloves that have some heft to them, so if anyone impugns my honour, I can slap them in the face more satisfactorily. It's difficult to challenge a person to duel when you whomp them with a pair of soft woolly gloves.


1981Neil 42M
8 posts
5/16/2015 8:33 am
    Quoting AmeliaCox:
    That's brilliant rationale.
Thanks for the reassurance. I was beginning to think I'm eccentric.


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