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Obscure Tuesday Lessons Learned (or at least pondered?)
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Obscure Tuesday Lessons Learned (or at least pondered?) The thrill for me in meeting up with people is as much mental, emotional and even spiritual, as much as the physical realities of sexual adventure. What happened to me as a young boy has pricked my psyche and has been a life-long exploration of people. Last evening I met a most wonderful, attractive, intelligent, sexy woman, who is fifty, works in a man's world of banking as the only female, and that, a Southern white female, among all males and many of color. A walk out the door by a hubby of many years whom she was working her buns off, she thought, together for their future, has left her devastated. An only who still cares for parents three hours away, now that she is in Atlanta. She was over-worked and seemed stressed out. Reading my profile she selected me for for some possible release? I do enjoy giving pleasures to females, and yes, I have been "out there" more than I care to admit over the years. But what did I learn or now ponder? (1) People who expect anal play need to plan or embrace the consequences of such play when you have not prepared. In my eagerness to please and with my not able to keep my mouth shut, when I discovered a turd, I spoke of it. It did not bother me, but it did she. It was almost a game ender? 2) Taking time to listen to others is a lost art in society it seems today and maybe especially among older dating or mid aged dating people. My attractiveness is not so much in my physical prowess or abilities as a lover, but my capacity with patience to listen to someone else who needs to get some things off their chest. After a couple drinks...six last night, I do believe...two martinis and four glasses of wine (but who's counting, right), I was settled in to listen. It was a good thing. 3) One can lead a to the water trough, but you can't make a drink. This woman was no , but she still had the unbroken spirit, being very independent, exhibiting a great deal of disappointment and bitterness toward life.When I looked into her dancing eyes, later saw her apartment, and even viewed her wedding album, I saw a person with real strength, blessings, and so much more going for her than she gave herself credit. I mean she had reached out to me for a date, for dinner and drinks, and later, after meeting being comfortable three hours into knowing each other, of taking my hands and looking straight into my eyes, invited me to her place for some "stress release." It was later than I knew she needed ot be. I challenged her offer (fool that I am?). But she was firm. It was what she wanted, yet when to her place, it took over an hour to settle into some play. I think we were both nervous. I am not shy and being naked is no problem for me, but it seemed a bit more difficult for her. But in the end, I do trust that when she told me she enjoyed our time and she indeed could get some sleep now, that she was truthful. I went away, almost having to be rude to get away out of respect for her. In other words, when the did drink, the did not want the trough to go away. That may be a good thing. Anyway, it is a hopeful thing to believe that I shall again have the opportunity to enjoy this person's body and company. 4) Just because one person has BDSM experience does not make you a Dominant, Submissive, Switch, or Master/slave. I have now had somewhat five experiences with domination. I am talking with some others who are interested and have invested in some of the trappings of leather strap, crop, mask, gag, rope, etc.....Having all this does not a Master or Dominant make. Nor have the experiences I have already shared with others always inform me of the preferences of others and how they go about BDSM play. 5) One such instance...Breast/Teat Clamps...this beautiful woman wanted some release from her pain and was thoughtfully hoping by the use of these<b> clamps </font></b>to cause some pain that would help clear her mind of the pain already in her head...stress, bitter past, etc. This is no stupid woman who is unexperienced in such things. I respect her greatly! She clamped my teat and asked me to sit up in bed and clamp the other. I could not do without causing pain. I was unexperienced and uncomfortable with pulling her teats to stretch and clamp...and I did not know what the hell I was doing. These were not<b> clamps </font></b>I had ever seen or used myself. I was very awkward. 6) My energy level at 63 is not what it was at thirty something! After a three hour dinner with drinks...much conversation...late in the evening after midnight, wanting to please her and give her the much needed release, I did what I could...which ended up being some anal toy play and my using my hands massaging her g-spot in her vagina while she came and squirted....I think at least twice. She let me know I had accomplished her desire for release. I was left wondering myself, as I was aware of my own tiredness by the hour and lack of energy. What I sense and hope for is that beyond a first meeting where parties get acquainted, there does not have to be the "song and dance" routine around just getting the play done. I know that sounds mechanical, a man thing, but at some point there has to be some mutual exchange, a signal through a kiss or touch, that says, "I am ready...make love to me...sweet romantic love." Maybe I am just too sappy. I usually can sum someone up pretty fast and am either ready to do whatever or move on. I don't know if it was the meeting for the first time, awkwardness on my part, or the low energy level, but it took longer to get into the "release mode" than I would have preferred...and also which would have been more practical for someone who had work to do before morning when they had to be at work? Just saying...something to ponder. 7) Cost effectiveness, while not an issue for me in dating, is worth pondering because you can spend $300 on a date very easily...meal with drinks, entertainment venue, flowers, etc....or you can just summon someone up from backpage, an agency or known player that is maybe even less on the bottom line? Again, I have no problem spending money on a date, not complaining here, just pondering the outcomes of both ways of going about things. Okay, seven is a good number and while this is not complete, I need to move on with my day. I am grateful for those who read and even more grateful to those who comment, either positive or negative or even no response. If nothing else, it helps me to get some things I've thought about written down to review later...to ponder. |
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