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Role Playing; Do Sexual Games really spice up your sex life?
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Role Playing; Do Sexual Games really spice up your sex life? Role play ranges from the spontaneous -- dirty talk turns into an imaginary scenario -- to the detailed, carefully planned and negotiated scenario. For our purpose, let's say there is no right or wrong way to role-play; role-play is created by your imagination, you don't need to wear anything specific, don’t need to have perfect props, create fake accents, worry about staying in character or carrying off the whole thing by yourself, or learn terminology or rules. Unless you want to, that is: Some people find that wearing the perfect outfit makes it all that much hotter, props heighten the erotic tension beyond measure, or they find that an accent makes it more fun. Because after all, role play is just the same as playing make believe as a -- it's play between two people who want to enjoy the possibilities within a given scenario, and while toy guns made playing cowgirl more vivid, being held at "finger-point" always worked just as well. Some common character couplings in sexual role playing include: Boss/Secretary Captain/First Mate Celebrity/Body Guard Celebrity/Fan Drill Sergeant/New Recruit Doctor/Nurse, Doctor/Patient, Nurse/Patient Historical Couples Jailer/Prisoner, Prisoner/Prisoner Kidnapper/Victim Knight/Damsel in Distress Master/Slave Parent/ Pirate/Prisoner Police Officer/Civilian Police Officer/Suspect / R-word/Victim, Molester/Victim (do be careful) Rich lady/Chauffeur Rich man/French maid Robot/Human, Robot/Robot Scientist/Subject Stewardess/Passenger Pilot/Stewardess Stranger/Stranger Teacher or professor/Student Sometimes role playing may occur where one party remains as "his/herself" while the other takes on the persona of a celebrity or a fictional character: Common celebrity types: Actors/Actresses, Pop Singers, Porn Stars (my favorite), and fictional characters. It could be that your Halloween outfit inspires one or both of you long past October, either of you might confess attraction to a character on a TV show or movie (or a celebrity), or you may have any number of fantasy sources from memories, porn movies, books -- or anywhere at all. Perhaps in your fantasies you're often a naughty schoolgirl about to be spanked by a handsome male teacher. Or maybe a patient at the hospital administered to by a sexy nurse who deems your best treatment is oral stimulation. Perhaps you have a repeat fantasy that you've shared with your lover, such as that you visit a darkened movie theater and perform oral sex on the first stranger you encounter -- and your lover wants to make it come true without any risks involved. When you erotically daydream, are you a lost tourist in a foreign land who wanders into a secret sex club -- and they make you their slave? Have you and your lover shared a role-playing fantasy that you'd like to try? Can you really make all these fantasies come true, safely and sanely, while including a bout of really hot sex? When you learn the basics of role-play, yes, you certainly can! Erotic role play, when two or more people play roles and act out their fantasies, are a terrific way to add spice and exciting variation to your usual sexual routines. Role play, because you tap into your shared fantasies, takes an already-great sex life and makes it extraordinary, gives it new dimension, and adds playfulness -- or intensity -- to your intimacy. Trying out fantasy scenarios, much like playing an explicit adult version of "make believe," can be added to your sex lives like a sex toy. And like sex toys, some couples will use fantasy now and again to mix things up; others will find a new sexual adventure a regular pleasure, while a number of people will enjoy role play as a regular party of their rich sexual panorama. Some fantasies you may wish to explore will be about doctors, firemen, nurses or simply sexy uniforms in general. Many fantasies will revolve around subtle -- or overt --<b> dominance and submission </font></b>themes, such as when someone finds a stern demeanor arousing, or they have erotic daydreams about being spanked by authority figures. You may find yourself drawn to live out fully-formed scenes that are as far away from reality as possible, that take place on other planets, in other times, or in impossible scenarios that would be impossible -- or dangerous -- in real life. Let the erotic fantasies you already have shape your fantasy role-play scenarios In erotic role play, you both choose a scenario that sounds like it has the most erotic potential, and go from there. One of you will gravitate to one role or another, though usually the roles in your fantasy role-play experience will come from a strong attraction for one of you to be a particular icon, and behave in a certain way. How far you go with setting, costumes, props and character is up to you. Role play ranges from the spontaneous -- dirty talk turns into an imaginary scenario -- to the detailed, carefully planned and negotiated scenario. Start out with dirty talk, explicit banter leading up to or during sex. One of you can describe a fantasy (even closing your eyes if you feel more comfortable), confess a scenario that turns you on, or simply build upon describing (or exaggerate) what you're both currently doing. Mine the ways in which you dirty talk for clues about what he or she responds to. If he gets excited when you call him a "bad boy," push the envelope further and find out how he's been bad. Develop his perspective by egging him on and asking him questions, and fit your persona into his erotic world. Are you nervous about taking the scene from the imagination to the verbal? Start by practicing on your own and taking dirty to a mirror. Don't worry about feeling silly; remember that the person you're with is going to be your willing partner in escaping to your shared imaginary fantasy -- when you do it, it will be in context. When you get your banter going, focus on describing details, such as the way the collar looks, feels, and the buckles sparkle in the light. If you feel comfortable talking explicitly but are still shy about a face-to-face fantasy, begin your fantasy with an email exchange, or a telephone conversation. Easing into role-play dirty talk can be even easier when you read them an erotic short story that turns you on -- and suggest that you enact the sexy details. Adopting a role or persona can be a lot of fun, and deeply enriching to your relationship. Also, sometimes it might be difficult to start verbalizing a fantasy scenario unless you know what role you're supposed to play. For example, if she finds it hot for you to play a CHP officer, it might be easier for you to come up with things to say while "arresting" her once you start pretending to cuff her. More often than not, one of you will be in a more active role, while the other will be in a more receptive role, allowing (and enjoying) the flow of direction coming from the more active partner. Role-playing is much like erotic theater, and your role can give you the framework for your motivation and language. When you begin to take role play beyond dirty talk and start to add developed roles, expectations, outfits and scenarios, it's very important to make sure that you both are clear about each other's expectations. She might want to be a naughty schoolgirl, hoping to be reprimanded for being sexually promiscuous by a perverted teacher, while you may think she's naughty because she's going to willfully seduce a hapless teacher -- two very different scenarios and power dynamics. Talking about it beforehand won't ruin it or give it away, because you can't predict how the scenario will play out, or how turned on you might get. But make sure you will get the outcome you crave, or find yourself in the predicament you desire by giving your role play partner specifics about what gets you hot within the context of the scene. You may find it helpful to write down your hopes and ideas before you have your conversation, and some couples find that writing them down and sharing or exchanging their ideas make their role play sessions more intense. Talk about it -- then plan it. (Some excerpts borrowed)   "Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.” |
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