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Turning 40
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Turning 40 I seem to be bolder today than I was at 20. Definitely more confident. At 20, I was living at school in Chicago, Holding on to a relationship that I should’ve ran from, and just starting to explore my sexuality. I wanted then to have sex with a woman, but would have never opened my mouth to say as much because of my super Christian upbringing. That would’ve not only meant shame, but an express pass to hell. I’m not sure I really liked myself back then. But to be honest I’m not sure I really knew myself. All I know is that I was looking for a way out. Out of Chicago. Out of a messy relationship. Out of school. Just OUT! So when the opportunity presented it’s self I jump on the first plane and off to St. Paul. For the first time I’m away from home. No family overlooking every move a make and reporting my doings back to my parents. No old friends that grew up in the church with me to judge me. I went wild! I smoked cigarettes! I ate crappy food! I drank too much! Screwed whomever I wanted. First a wonderful man from the Caribbean islands and next a lovely mixture of Cuban and Puerto Rican. But I still felt tied down. By friends I had met in school and ties I was starting to make here. I still had the desire to have a woman's body in my bed, between my legs. My head and mouth pressed to her wet peach. (No need to be crude unless we are having sex). Late night TV would solve that problem. Lava Links! What?!? I can talk to someone and arrange a hook up. Sign me up!!! It took some time, but I was able to get two woman, on separate occasions, in my bed. The first time was wonderful to place my hands inside her peach and taste the tanginess of her juices. To lick and her breast. To grab her firm ass and I pull her close to me. To have her grind on top of until I came. Freaking assume! However, after each time I still wanted to be with a man. I still liked that broad strong back. Feeling him stroke and grow harder inside my hands or my peach; Getting pounded hard doggie style. For me, no one can do that like a man. At 40 I find myself exploring again. This time I play in a pool of open relationships and S & M. I’m figuring out what I don’t like and what works for sure. I still keep this part of my life very private from my family. I really don’t think they would understand. I think the difference between 20 and 40 is I now do not need their approval. My focus now is what is going to make me happy. And for now, being a good little sub, sometimes dom, makes me a happy gal. Take care, Sex169 |
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Yes, with age comes wisdom. Glad you found yourself!
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11/30/2014 10:16 pm |
Finding! not found yet. Ever the process. 
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As with all things, it's a journey.
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Remembering my 40th......was the last time I had a hangover. (16 yrs ago) Must be the wisdom part. 
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12/3/2014 12:31 am |
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12/3/2014 12:39 am |
I love how the peeps that have walked through this door are being so encouraging. You guys rock! 
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A very nice recap of your adventures and growth. I am glad you decided to escape to MN when you left Chicago. Keeping this part of your life private seems pretty common, I know I am the same way. Makes you wonder though, as you look at others walking through a mall how many of them are thinking like we are? Keep Exploring!
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Simply............ KUDOS to you!!!! Congratulations and may you always ...................................... Flow Ur Juices
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Thanks for sharing your journey. I can relate to elements of your journey. The twists and turns we encounter in life can be fascinating...and who doesn't enjoy a twist here or there. Sounds like you enjoy being twisted but have occasional interests in doing the twisting. Enjoy the journey and experiencing all those sides. Ds
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