Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > dp_no_not_that > One Dude in the Wilderness |
Vibes
|
Vibes No not the battery powered kind. I'm talking about the unspoken feelings you get from people, either from reading their words on the screen or meeting them in person. Before I start, let me say this blog is going to touch on the subject of rejection. But hopefully not in the way you think. Complaining about rejection is a huge no no on this site, and I get why. I'm not going to do that. But I am going to use rejection as a jumping off point for other topics. So basically, if you're the type who sees any mention of rejection being discussed and assumes the person talking is a weak willed, entitled, whining asshole, you can save us both the trouble and click away now. That said, the other day I got rejected. Nothing new here on Senior Sizzle. Happens all the time to us guys, can't be avoided. But I took this rejection especially hard because of how unnecessarily harsh it seemed. I really felt like the woman hadn't just rejected me, she'd gone out of her way to mock me, as if to point out that not only was she saying no, she was sort of offended (or maybe just amused) that I'd even asked in the first place. I made the supreme mistake of sharing this with some other people on the site. I was sufficiently chastised for my complaining, but in the process I did manage to get a few responses to my actual concern. The consensus seemed to be that I was misreading the message. Some felt there was no malice at all in the rejection, others that there wasn't any rejection at all, but an invitation for further dialogue! How could I have misread things so badly? Why was I picking up a negative vibe while others weren't, or were even getting a positive vibe? In confusion I decided to simply be direct and emailed the lady back, asking in clear terms if I'd just been rejected. I was, in fact, correct on this point. She emailed back and said that indeed, I had been rejected. It seemed pointless to ask if she'd meant to come off as harsh as I felt she had been, so I'll never really know that for sure. But the point is, many people read the same words and got different, even opposite vibes from it. I've always been fascinated by this. Communication is imperfect, but sometimes (distressingly often, it seems) it can go so awry that completely opposite intentions can be conveyed. Anybody else have any stories like this one? Have you ever completely misread a situation, or had someone so misinterpret something you said so as to completely change your intended meaning? Tell me your stories! |
|||
|
The sad truth is that people really hate to be messaged and not even had their profile read by the person messaging them. Rejection isn't something I even consider as a hit on myself esteem. Especially if all I am messaging is a pair of legs or someone's chest. There are the ones that list couples,men,women,bi,etc.... They have to sort through more messages then the person that list's straight. You also have to remember that there are a huge amount of guys that agree with everything a woman says and tell woman that, they wouldn't give even a glance at in real life but here they are the most beautiful creation.They are probably the ones telling you that they saw nothing wrong with the reply you received. It may have been bad timing on your part .Who knows. If they don't extend some sort of sign to message them back ie;Asking me a question.I leave it alone.A couple of weeks goes by and look at who's looking at my profile.It is what it is! Using more than all the road!
| ||
|
Ah yes rejection and communication. I, too, have witnessed this even though i thought things were going really well between him and me. For me, there have been a couple of men that I went out with on sheveral dates with them. Their words, actions, mannerisms, facial expressions, body language and laughter told me all was great. Then a week later, I have had no communication with these gentlemen. I will eventually send them a message and they will respond. After a few texts or emails I have found that in fact I was rejected. I read positivity in the messages. I would run those messages across my g/fs and they would say, no, no rejection there. Then I go back and ask the man, and in fact it was. Communication is left to interpretation, especially when someone is unclear and rambles around words and makes a dance with them. Just put it out there and be honest and say straightforward what one mean. I dated one guy for 5 months. He called me precious all the time when he talked with me in on line in chats and texts. I was honored and touched as I find myself to meet the word he used. When he finally let loose, he didn't mean precious in any good way at all. HE was being snide when he used it and was making fun of me. Words, sooo confusing.
|
Become a member to create a blog
