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| Blogs > MyUndoing > Dances With Words |
Email response woes?
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Email response woes? Reading blogs and responses to blogs, I have noticed there is a common request coming from men asking that women reply to their email even if it’s to say, “Thanks but no thanks.” Many of you say that you’ve made the effort to read her profile then have taken time and made the effort to write a thoughtful, polite and sincere message. And I get it. It’s work and it’s frustrating to go to the trouble of composing something specific to an individual profile. I’m not going to go into all the reasons why women don’t respond but there are many. What I am going to do (although I probably should not be speaking for all women) is give some advice, take it or leave it as you like. First off....expect nothing back. By all means, you can hope that she’ll respond but just don’t expect it. Write to her because you want to. Without any thought of a return on your investment. It’ll save you a lot of disappointment. And it might be small consolation but I can almost guarantee that your message has at least been read by her, regardless if she answers. Next bit of advice: Keep it short. 3-5 sentences after a hello. There is no need to write a novel. Don’t invest hours of your time. If she is going to be interested, she will be within the first line or two. She may not reply...for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with whether she is interested or not. Your message is one among many ....easily lost in the shuffle. So if she hasn’t responded... wait. Give it a few days and try again with another short message (and don’t just say the exact same thing in the 2nd as you did in the first). Still no response after the second? Well, you might try again in a week. It’s possible that number 3 might be the charm and persistence *could* pay off. BUT, my view is that if you’ve gotten no answer after a second message, THAT is your answer. Because no response is a response. No response is exactly the same as “Thanks but no thanks.” Again, I don’t mean to presume to speak for all women. Who knows, I could be dead wrong about this. I’m not but I could be. Heh heh I wish I could respond to every nice message I get. I’d like to. Because I do appreciate them. And I imagine there are other women who feel the same as I do. I should add that this advice will in no way help you in getting laid but it might save you some time and lessen some of the frustration. |
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Well put. I used to try to respond to every message, even if it was just with an auto-responder. But these days I can't stay on top of the "good" messages because they're quickly buried under dozens of annoying messages. And, by the way, I rarely get crass or terrible opening messages, they're almost always un-actionable banality like, "your hot let me know if you want to chat." But guys, before you chide women about whether or not they're being polite enough about responding to you, consider that we don't know who you are. Men with a sense of entitlement will often respond to a polite decline with harassment and abuse. I've been called "fatty," "bitch", and other names, I've been relentlessly harangued, people have read (and misunderstood) my blog and have used the content of my posts to insult and berate me. If a woman wants to avoid this kind of treatment by not responding to your message, she's not "impolite", she's self-preserving.
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Drop the Mic.. I'm just going to echo everyone else here and just give you a standing ovation for this one. I get it.. I sent out way too many introductory emails with nothing in return, but I've never sent out a response to that with something crude. There's no reason and it just leaves me open to a harassment lawsuit. I usually think of them as messages in a bottle.. they might get there or not, but there's no sense in spinning my wheels thinking whether or not she likes me.
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100 Percent agree with your post.. Well done! I have meet some awesome people from this site and also some real jerks too .. hugssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I consider myself fortunate. I was luck enough to meet and have a conversation with a lady from this site soon after I joined Senior Sizzle, who taught me these lesson. Expect noting, enjoy everything and don't worry about things out of your control. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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Great post MyUndoing, Persistence can pay off but don't be pushy or creepy. The no answer is the answer is pretty much the mantra I go by but I will occasionally email again with a new topic just to say hello, you never know. Keep an open mind about it, don't expect anything and most of all don't get pissed that you don't get a response or if you get a polite rejection, take the high road if by some chance the woman responding responds impolitely. I also assume that some of the women will talk to one another and word of mouth can work for or against you. I have assumed (falsely perhaps ) that accepting my invite to my network is a foot in the door for me, wouldn't it make sense to leave the network if a woman isn't interested in you?
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You know, I've really wanted to reply to your blog, but I NEVER get a reply back! Wtf - I take hours out of my busy day and try to put forth a meaningful/endearing novel that could give Hemingway a run for his money. Then wait patiently by your blog-side... and nothing! no response, no thanks but no-thanks! Nothing! omg I just can't deal!!  [image]
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I have never been one to get angry or upset. I realize women get a lot of mail. I DO thank any woman profusely for responding,even if it just a "no thank you". my parents taught me manners
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Been there, done those things. Thanks for the reminder. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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