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Blogs > mindworker1970 > My Blog

What do I do?  

mindworker1970 53M
4 posts
11/1/2016 7:25 pm
What do I do?

I first joined this site over 15 years ago. I met several people then fell in love with a woman that made me feel good about myself. We had 10 years before she passed away and we were still in love at the end. It wasn't perfect, but we were happy with what we had. My one real issue was her refusal to change her job. She was unhappy with her employer, bored with her job and she refused to look for another one because of her weight. After she was gone I told myself that the next person I got involved with would have to be happy with her job and her profession.

I found someone on this site about 2 years ago. She was very happy with her job and she was a good person. Things were going fine but the last year her job has changed to the point where she is stressed, unhappy and working herself into an early grave. She says that things will change but all I've seen is things getting worse and worse. Trying to keep her spirits up has drained me, and I have given up. I will not go through this again.

So now I am worried that I am the problem. That I am attracted to people who are always going to be unhappy with their jobs. What can I do to change this? Maybe this is the wrong place to be asking, but I need to find some sort of answer that I can live with. It would be so much easier if I could just change and be a real asshole instead of someone who cares. Any helpful advice out there?

secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
11/4/2016 5:05 am

 Sometimes venting to someone safe is a way of letting go the stress. Most of the time I love my job, but there are days that I vent too. If you stop "trying to lift her spirits", and just be a listening ear, instead, you may be happier.


mindworker1970 replies on 11/4/2016 9:17 am:
Venting is understandable. I have done it myself and don't have a problem with it normally. The issue was the amount and frequency. It had been a solid year of problems, and the next year looked worse. At some point I look at my job and if it isn't getting better I start my exit strategy and change things. She wouldn't or couldn't. She is now travelling 75% or more and hates that too. There are people who can live like that but I am not one of them.

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