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captive
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captive she awakes to constricted and naked panic. unable to move her arms and legs, she cannot understand what is happening. straining against her bindings, she cannot budge at all, her blindfold tightly pressing against her eyes, her mouth taped shut, cotton softness pressing against her ears, there are no cues, no sounds, no sights, just the swirling darkness from the insides of her eyelids…. she inhales deeply in order to perceive anything, anything at all… ….nothing. there is nothing…. she feels like she is drowning in a maelstrom of unquenchable terror and loss. thinking back, she remembers meeting a nice guy from a dating site, having a drink or two, and then, and then…. oh god, where is she, why is she tied up, how could she be so foolishly trusting? how could a smart 25 year old woman do something so foolish? she realizes she drank too much... and now bound and sensory deprived somewhere, naked, arms outstretched, legs bound and spread wide apart, she can only think of the rest of the world passing her by, she will be forgotten, no one will know where she is, she will die alone, isolated, never to find love, or travel to tuscany, or never have that perfect glass of wine and chocolate. time ineluctably passes, moments an eternity, nothing exists except for her thoughts and slight perceptions. she feels unyielding pressure from her bladder and bowels, the discomfort making her squirm, yet she cannot just let go, she waits, trapped in this bright instant of electric shock and fear, waiting to find out who has done this to her, if it is really that guy from last night, she thinks he was so good looking, and his air of arrogant confidence so maddening yet alluring…. suddenly, as if jolted by a taser, she feels a touch on her face, she cries out behind the duct tape that seals her lips, she cries, trying to vocalize, please let me go, please, i will do whatever you want, don’t hurt me, but all that comes out is terror-filled mumbling….. he whispers in her ear, silence, keep still, do what you are told and it will be easier for you. nod that you hear me….and she wants to nod, yet feels a sudden unbidden upsurge of anger, who is this person, the hell with him, if he is going to kill me anyway, then i am not co-operating, the hell with it….and feels the most wracking painful searing sensation on her inner thighs, her ass, her breasts, she hears the smacking of some strap or paddle beating her sensitive skin… she writhes in anguished pain, screaming behind her taped lips, oh god stop, please she tries to yell, you are killing me, as the beating continues for what appears to be minutes, yet is only a few seconds… mercifully it ends. she senses his body next to her, he leans in and says when i tell you to nod, or do anything else, do not hesitate to comply, or you will get the same, or worse. obey and there will be no pain. you are entering a transcendent and transformational journey, a journey where you will live to obey my slightest whim, await my bidding, live for me and only me, your ego will dissipate in the glory of service to me, only me. you will perform no action without my permission, you will not exist outside of me. nod if you understand. she starts to nod, but once again is overtaken by the excruciating stings of a paddle or belt, he counts 10 times, and stops and says, you hesitated, but i only gave you 10 lashes because you aren’t yet fully trained….you better be a quick learner, or your body will suffer. she is crying, sobbing, feeling relentless anguish, humiliation and shame, her helplessness driving her to deep depths of sorrow, she wonders if she is really alive, is she dreaming, she is full of unappeasable loss…. her body sends fevered courses of aching<b> fury </font></b>to her brain, the pressure of her needing to void, keeps her hypertensive and agonized…. once again she feels him behind her, smells his pheromones, she wants to beg, to cry, to plead, but cannot, she wants to avoid the lash at all costs, she becomes hypersensitive to his every movement, his smell, his voice, she cannot help herself, she starts to want to please him, he doesnt need to beat her, she will cooperate, she will she swears to herself, she feels his breathing on her neck, tries to inhale his essence, wants to do his bidding… so it begins, he says, you will enjoy this, he utters with his deep low voice, i promise you pleasure, i promise you an amazing spiritual journey, i promise to cherish you as my willing slave, this will happen, but not until i am satisfied that you are truly worthy…..until then, i will be cruel and capricious, and do things to you wont like, until and unless you do my bidding without conscious thought… it will take months, perhaps years. your old life is done. it is nothing but a wisp of fading memories, this small room your new universe, and i am your god. this sea-change of a voyage will be an intricate one, and your body and mind its vessel. you will be given pain and pleasure, sometimes separately, sometimes together. you are uncomfortable right now. this will continue for a few more hours. this is your first test. show me you can control yourself, control the physical need, lose yourself in the helpless distress you feel. you will be rewarded with bathroom and food privileges, but for now, there is nothing for you, nothing but learning to be patient. she senses his departure. she is overpowered by unrelenting and petrifying defeat… and from somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she starts to extrapolate the possibilities that she will really have to surrender in order to survive, she starts to imagine his face, what he would like, how she can please him, she imagines that if she does what he wants, she might actually enjoy this, but no, this is unacceptable, yet she cannot but help think that she has, at times, had fantasies about being overtaken by a strong man, she feels guilty pangs of excitement, this is overwhelming. and realizes that despite her small surrounding, she has a vast world of possibility. |
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