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| Blogs > bandit5_0 > The Bandit's Thefts |
A question to all of the Swingers
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A question to all of the Swingers I used to be in the lifestyle and I had a lot of fun, but didn't care much for some of the mindsets that most swinging couples have. If you swing, you consider sex as a simple act - nothing more. So WHY do most swinging couples insist on ALWAYS playing together? Remember, sex is just a simple act - like buying groceries or getting gas for your car. Do you always buy groceries together?? Do you always get gas for your car together?? And if you mention SAFETY, I will mention LACK OF TRUST between the couple. There has to be a better answer than that  And WHY do most swinging couples NOT allow the lady to play with other men? |
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Hiya.. I am not a swinger.. However, if i may, I would like to offer a couple of explanations.. 1) the swinging couples that I do know DO allow their partners to play alone or even in gang bangs without their presence.. although on their profiles they "only play together". To me this is a safety thing and eventually when there is trust that the third or the group is "safe" then they play alone.. 2) Some partners enjoy watching their partners with others. so they play as a couple. so both get to enjoy the experience.. that would be a good thing in my opinion.. just my 2 cents. Wannabe/Sexpot - which one do you want me to be? 
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Two things: 1 - I did say MOST couples only play together, not ALL - I do know couples who play alone and these are true lifestylers IMO 2 - WATCHING and LISTENING are not the same as PLAYING Senior Sizzle - What's on a profile is irrelevant. Swinging couples either play together or allow alone play from the very start - they don't change the rules depending on......although it's possible. Fruthermore, it's very rare when do you find a couple where the lady gets to eventually play alone with ANOTHER MAN - another woman is a different story. If watching was a preference then why do MOST couples exclude single men? Are there only a small number of men out there who would enjoy watching their woman with another man? Senior Sizzle - I completely DISAGREE with you. I've been to enough lifestyle events to know that general safety and trust with the new person is established at the meet and greet phase - otherwise nothing happens. Think about this: Did the lady of the couple have a chaperone in the bed the first time she had sex with hubby? I think NOT....she trusted him. So why is trust such an issue this time around especially if rules are set/agreed on? And again, WATCHING and HEARING is not the same as PLAYING - you don't have to be in the same room as your partner to see and hear that person having good sex. I'm still not convinced the trust factor doesn't lie between the couple. More comments are welcome!
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I have always found it extremely erotic to watch my partner playing with someone else. Another reason that I played in the same room with my partner is the safety issue. I like being able to reach over and touch my partner during playtime. And you are wrong in the in saying that true lifestylers will play separately. Each couple has their own ground rules for playing. When I interview a couple(yes interview) I make it plain that I don't play behind anyone's back. The wife/husband has to let me know that it is ok for me to play separately. Sometimes at first the wife/husband says no playing separately but when they get to know me as a person and know that I'm not a threat to the relationship then we sit down and discuss the boundaries again. True swingers are a close knit community and its not all about the sex. The Lifestylers are friendships and not wham bam thank you ma'am. It can sometimes get aggravating having so many people care about you but in the long run my couples have been there for me when I needed them the most
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Look up the terms SWINGING and WIFE SWAPPING and then figure out which category that a couple who only plays together falls under. There's a big difference SWINGING is ALL about the sex. You've obviously never been to a swing party where single males are present. And if couples are worried that you are a threat to the relationship then there is a LACK OF TRUST! Thank you for proving my point.
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The modern lifestyle was started in WWII with a group Air Force pilots and their wives. No single pilot was allowed into their little clique. The same with house parties and socials. A single man will be bumped if a single female or couple want to attend. Very few house parties will allow single men to attend. When you meet couples for the meet and greet there is one thing that you have to keep in mind and that is that even if things clicked and everyone likes someone YOU DONT KNOW THAT PERSON OR COUPLE. Now I have receive a message from one of the couples that I play with. The woman cant play for a while so we(me and the husband) have permission from her to play with each other alone. I don't go behind anyone's back otherwise it is cheating and there is a difference.
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There is a much larger perspective about swinging that you are not getting because of your unicorn status So what exactly does it take to KNOW THAT PERSON OR COUPLE??? One date, a few texts, maybe a phone call??? Do you have any idea how many people (outside of the swinging community) have sex without "knowing" the other person? Ever heard of one night stands?? Blocking tackle for a friend??? I say again - of you are a true swinger, SEX IS JUST AN ACT and if it clicks at a swing party then it happens without "knowing" anyone - clicks means it's all good and in this situation that's all that matters. The man and the woman don't have to BOTH be present - at least not in the same room. As for your couple - if the MAN can't play for awhile does he give permission to his wife to play with other men alone? Single men??
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Yes he does. The thing about the lifestyle is a community of multiple sex partners. Anyone can go to a bar and pick up a body for the night, I have had my share of one night stands and pickups. The lifestyle I'm involved in people can arrange introductions to other couples to play with in any place. My former play partner can't get the time of day from couples in the lifestyle. Anyone can go on craiglist or here and get a hookup. But how many can be part of a community that if you decide to get out of the lifestyle still remain friends with someone. They understand my need for a vanilla relationship and respect it. Whether they play together or separately is the personal decision of the couple. Let you in on a secret its the woman in the relationship that decides and not the man
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