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communication buddhist thinking
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communication buddhist thinking There are many really bad ways communicate .There are some that work really well .The most obvious ways often do not work because it is a 2 way feedback loop .It does not matter what you said , it does not matter what you intended say .It only matters what they perceived you said and inferred your intent .sucks doesn't it ? you can only present what you wish say in the plainest correct language .Guess what ? They have know the actual meaning of the words you used !! Words are specific , ask a lawyer lol. One technique that actually works is reach and withdraw. get someone who may be questioning communicating with you.You reach out with a simple message , email or ,basic , non committal , non aggressive non negative message you know they may be interested in . example , They like a certain artist ,performer . Hey artist X is going be in town in 4 weeks ,I always liked their music . have a good day . then you go silent and wait . If they respond you give a short response of the correct middling type wish them well and disappear for a full week . no texts , no messages ,if they text you do not respond immediately let it wait at least a day .It builds anticipation for your response and makes you seem a bit of a mystery . This actually works really well because of human psychology . reach and withdraw . be patient and let them come to you by not blowing up their phone like a desperate nutjob . the key is withdraw and stay that way a while .make them think of you and wonder what you are up to .or do a quick , hey i have 20 min want to grab a coffee, tea matcha ? like a friend not someone who wants to bang them senseless , that comes later lol less is more folks . learn to pull people in ,they want to think and feel about things for a while let them ! be positive , be brief , be funny , be honest , but do not be quick to react . you do not catch a prize bass by smashing the lure on their snout over and over . set it out gently and slowly draw it past them and entice them , keep doing it as long as it takes to get the<b> bite </font></b>,patience . No great prize is ever won without patience , determination , sacrifice and hard work .Live in the present fully .Do not think of the past it brings worry and worry brings suffering , do not think on the future it also brings worry and suffering ,Trust that things will be the way they are supposed to be ,one day at a time with no reaching forward and no reaching back .It brings peace and calm to your mind and soul .You have not control over the universe and fighting it just wears you out ,so sit and be still a while , peace to all . |
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gazie joy .exactly! wait in peace not in suffering , take time to let the powers that be do the work to build the trust and understanding that is needed for good relationships and communication to happen' speed is forever the enemy of quality
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funny, recently I had guy exploded on me, in the bad communication... he sends me little chat, and i sent my messages back. this went on a few rounds, in a few days, and all the sudden one day, he got really angry, and he said, "You are too preoccupied on something else. " huh? i just barely got to started to talking with him...and of course I am preocupied...I am married with children. what does he expect from me? Endless chat session? since then, i am not responding to his messages. he did send me his apology or excuse but nope...i am done with him. patience is virtue...
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Classic impatient, self absorbed ,needy individual japneseass.We are invited into peoples spheres of infuluence .We must take it as a special priveledge not to be abused or over extended.fear and need drive much of the aggressive negative messaging .Just be calm and understanding .Things will come as they will and be appreciative when they do . People have busy lives that do not include you.Let them make space and time to include you at their own comfort and time .It works much better . Restraint and concise communication is a lost art .No one owes me anything ,if they give attebtion , time , etc. it is gift and they are not obligated . be well .
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