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| Blogs > StellaGraceSavoy > The Adventures of Stella Savoy |
self-respect
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self-respect Ever have someone say something to you that really makes you think? This morning someone said to me in an email, "A person should have more respect for his/her self than to share their body with any random stranger." We had been discussing the fact that the majority of men here want no strings attached sex. I had said, that's fine if that's what they want but I'm not looking for that right now. And he replied, " A person should have more respect for his/her self than to share their body with any random stranger." That made me think..... Does it really show a lack of self-respect when you have no-strings-attached sex? (For the record, I never said anything about random strangers, just no strings attached. He made that leap.) If I meet up with a random stranger, is it because I don't respect myself? I don't think so. I think it's because I respect some need deep inside of myself, some need this person on the other end of my conversation is not familiar with. If I put myself in danger to do this, then yeah, maybe I am not showing self-respect. But if I have relatively safe sex with a "random stranger" why does it half to be about my lack of self-respect? Why can't it be about my sexual needs and desires? But it also makes me wonder where that line is. If sex with a random stranger is about lack of self-respect, does taking that person to dinner a few times before sleeping with them show that you respect yourself? Or even your partner? If you still don't love them, maybe not even particularly like them, how is "dating" first showing self-respect. Personally, if I was going to say that people who have no strings attached sex show a lack of self-respect, I would say that anyone who has sex outside of a loving long-term committed relationship are also showing lack of self-respect. And if I felt that way, I wouldn't be looking for a loving long-term relationship on an adult dating site. Good grief. I understand that sometimes we do risky things because we don't care enough about ourselves to take care of ourselves. But that's not what this is about for me. I *could* have no strings attached sex with some safety precautions. How is that showing a lack of self-respect? OK, enough of that rant. Just let me leave with one last thought. If you are judging people who want NSA sex like they are showing a lack of self-respect and that you are somehow better, ask yourself this...... have you ever had sex with a woman who wasn't in a committed long-term loving relationship with you without asking her sexual history, without seeing current HIV and hep test results, and without using a condom? If so, that is RISKY behavior. And risky behavior shows a lack of self-respect...... whether you bought the girl dinner first or not. Just sayin'.......... Read about my escapades and adventures (with a few fantasies thrown in) here. ---->>>> StellaGraceSavoy |
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The most emotionally demeaning and degrading relationship I ever had was with a man that I had known for years but wasn't in love with me. I knew that he didn't love me and would never love me and it made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I finally got tired of being used for sex by a man who didn't plan on having any future with me. A mutual agreement that there are no strings, no love, no relationship, just got hot sweaty sex, is much healthier emotionally than feeling like you are being strung along. In the end, how you take care of yourself is a sign of self-respect. Do you let someone who doesn't love you use you for sex? Do you protect yourself by using condoms and asking to see a current HIV test? Do you get your physical needs met or settle for your partner's idea of what good sex is even if it's not quite doing it for you? THOSE are signs of self-respect, IMO. Read about my escapades and adventures (with a few fantasies thrown in) here. ---->>>> StellaGraceSavoy
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So, this person is on a sex-themed site, and they're trying to preach morality to you??? I think they're a bit confused.  [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
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1/15/2013 9:05 pm |
She is a respectable lady, and very sweet lady in person to. I would love to meet her again
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1/30/2013 6:32 pm |
I still remember that night for sure and will for a long time. Watching you walk across the parking lot in a low cut blouse, skirt and heels on. When I open the door for you and closed it behind you. The fun started right then and all thru the night, then it stopped the next morning when we said bye to each other in the parking lot. I truley had a amazing time with you that night. Hopefully we can do that again
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There is so much going on with the comment about self respect. I think the key is expectations, as in are both people clear what the relationship is...friends (fwb), one night stand, looking for love etc. Unfortunately there are a lot of manipulators out there so the best we can do is make decisions on what we know and live with our choices.
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