Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Dear Doctor  

rm_travelguyoh 63M
7255 posts
7/19/2012 10:04 am

Last Read:
7/19/2012 8:23 pm

Dear Doctor


I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a each year, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are absolutely useless.

After getting married I was told to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha.

My doctor then suggested we use the safe period. At this time we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work.

A lady of several years’ experience informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's hardly tastes like Coors, but I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and another on the way.

Another old wife’s’ tale was if my wife jumped up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from earlier), if my wife jumped up and down she would have ended up with two black eyes, and even knocked herself unconscious.

I asked a chemist about the condom. He demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex stretched over the thumb can prevent a baby.

My wife was then supplied with the coil and after many unsuccessful attempts to fit it we realized that we had got a left-handed thread and my wife is definitely a right-handed screw.

The Dutch cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all. But alas...it did give my wife a severe headache. We were given the largest size, but it was still too tight across her forehead.

Finally we tried the pill. At first it kept falling out, and then we realized we were doing it wrong. My wife started then to put it between her knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near her. This did work for a while until the night she forgot it....another resulted.

You must appreciate my problem: if this operation is unsuccessful I shall have to revert to oral sex. Although I don't mind just talking about it, it could never be the same as the real thing.


some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
7/19/2012 8:23 pm

    Quoting  :

you are most welcome...thanks for comming by for a visit

some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
7/19/2012 7:07 pm

    Quoting Msboobsy:
    OMG, that is just so funny.
thank you...the things we do for birth control or the lack thereof

some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
7/19/2012 7:05 pm

    Quoting  :

I liked the one about the pill...but my favorite was the condom on the thumb

some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


Msboobsy 70F
5972 posts
7/19/2012 6:58 pm

OMG, that is just so funny.


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
7/19/2012 5:23 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    This is really funny....thanks!
    It would make for some interesting viewing to have someone show this couple how to use various types of birth control...and would be hysterical to see the expressions on their faces when they realized what they had been doing wrong!
OMG...wouldn't that be funny...

some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


pagancountrygirl 66F  
6466 posts
7/19/2012 5:00 pm

This is really funny....thanks!
It would make for some interesting viewing to have someone show this couple how to use various types of birth control...and would be hysterical to see the expressions on their faces when they realized what they had been doing wrong!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


rm_travelguyoh 63M
12264 posts
7/19/2012 4:13 pm

    Quoting CampoGirl:
    Funniest blog Ive read in ages! With the pill between her knees, you can always do it from behind.
yes you can...thanks for the comment and coming by for a visit

some times the things that comes from between my ears makes me pause for reflection


CampoGirl 58F
43434 posts
7/19/2012 1:21 pm

Funniest blog Ive read in ages! With the pill between her knees, you can always do it from behind.

Now on my Blog: 👄 New Pictures 👓


Become a member to create a blog