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Why Teachers DRINK
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Why Teachers DRINK Why Teachers DRINK The following questions were set in a GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds – 'selected') Q. Name the four seasons A ... Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q. How is dew formed. A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A ... If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A ... Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs... (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope) Q ... What happens to your body as you age A ... When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A ... He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with<b> cigarettes. </font></b>A ... Premature death. Q. What is artificial insemination A ... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A ... Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A ... The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula? A ... A small lie. Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A ... Nearby. Q. What is the most common form of birth control A ... Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A ... The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q. What is a seizure? A ... A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A ... Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant). Q. What is a turbine? A ... Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. |
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WTF?!? Hahahaaa. That's it. Our future's fucked.
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