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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
Monday!.... errrrr that's it really. Monday Edition
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Monday!.... errrrr that's it really. Monday Edition Hello minions. Welcome to The Beast Burrow once again. Everybody take a seat and we'll get started.  You may recall, if you've been around awhile, when I suggested a contest to see if any men could take pictures of themselves engaged in oral sex simulation with an artificial vagina, and make it look sexy. Women are able to do it with dildos and vibrators. My bet was that men would fail the sexy test doing their own version. KarlBloggerfeld stood the best chance of success, being cool as cool can be, but he's all but disappeared from the blogs lately. Women can simply get away with many things, and make it look good, that men can't. Take clothing for example. There's the usual one-sided swapping that women do so well. They can slip into their man's discarded dress shirt and scamper off to the refrigerator late at night, looking sexy as Hell in the process. If a man grabs up his lady friend's blouse off a chair to do the same, he'll likely be laughed at by men, women, , and woodland creatures alike. Dennis Rodman may have been an exception at one time, but even he's probably seen his best days pass by. There are other aspects of clothing wear in which women have us at a disadvantage as well. Women can wear fabrics printed with some of their favorite things, and usually make it look cute, sexy, and classy. A flower print sun dress for example, as long as it's not too over the top, can be quite flattering. Take something men like however, such as fishing, and they fail miserably trying to combine it with their wardrobe. I don't think I've ever overheard a conversation between women that sounded something like this. "Oh Sara.... Do you see Robert over there in his Large Mouth Bass button down shirt? Doesn't he look handsome!" Yeah... That shit never happens. Another thing women can get away with sexually, and look sexy as Hell while doing it, is tasting their own after they cum. A woman can rub and finger herself to a thigh clenching orgasm, and then place her dripping fingers into her mouth to suck them clean, and nobody finds it disturbing in the least from what I've seen. If a man jerks himself off, and then scoops some of his cum off his stomach in order to suck it from his fingertips, he's simply asking once again to be ridiculed by men, woman, and woodland creatures of various species. I'm sure there is a small group of women, as well as a large group of men, that would find that hot, but not nearly as large a number as when women do it. OK. I suppose that's enough on that subject for the day. On to other things. I went to see Snow White last night. It was more entertaining than I expected it to be. Our friend, who played Thor in The Avengers, changed his clothing just enough to play the Huntsman, and carried an axe instead of a hammer. I hope he isn't type casting himself. Next thing you know, he'll be playing the role of a wrench wielding nomad, wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland, searching for fresh water and cans of Beanee Weenees. If still haven't gotten a chance to see Contraband with Mark Wahlberg. The closest I've come is when I saw the woman ahead of me at Red Box select it, and then the selection went grey, signifying she had just taken the last copy in the box. I came very close to<b> clubbing </font></b>her over the head and taking it. I didn't want to traumatize her young or grandson who was with her though. That's all for today minions. It's Monday, so you shouldn't have expected anything worthy of fireworks just yet. Give me until Wednesday for that.  Everybody take care. BEAST OUT Bonus Material! You just get a random joke that I found on the interwebs... about 5 seconds ago. EnjoyA farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!" |
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Love the sketch!!!
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i have worn a ladies robe once at their house. It was terry cloth and pink but it worked. I do have to say that nothing i wear can i pull off sexy in. I do see all kinds of guys sporting harley gear. Maybe that is as close as it gets. I have contraband but just havent watched it. I might give you a review when i get to days off.
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Love the sketch!!!
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i have worn a ladies robe once at their house. It was terry cloth and pink but it worked. I do have to say that nothing i wear can i pull off sexy in. I do see all kinds of guys sporting harley gear. Maybe that is as close as it gets. I have contraband but just havent watched it. I might give you a review when i get to days off.
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Just got back home from seeing Snow White and I have to say it was spectacular- very woman power!!  Loved the ending.About the sketch, at first read I thought is was 'bass'(as in boom boom) but then I got it. This blonde hair gets me some days .."...and then God created the orgasm, so women can moan even when they are happy"- Tantra 
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you know what i hate about guy's fashion??? Guy Harvey's shirt...i don't quite understand why a dude wants to wear a huge fish jumping on your chest...
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Just got back home from seeing Snow White and I have to say it was spectacular- very woman power!! Loved the ending.About the sketch, at first read I thought is was 'bass'(as in boom boom) but then I got it. This blonde hair gets me some days
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you know what i hate about guy's fashion??? Guy Harvey's shirt...i don't quite understand why a dude wants to wear a huge fish jumping on your chest...
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I'll eventually be first in line at Redbox.
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Asshole and Dirty Girl. There's a match made in Valhalla! 
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Some good points made there Beast Dont think I'd care to see my man or any man for that matter in a fish shirt. Hmmmm thinking Spidey might have rocked that pink bath robe, after all he was probably just trying to cover his ass.  And loved the joke!! 
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Some good points made there Beast Dont think I'd care to see my man or any man for that matter in a fish shirt. Hmmmm thinking Spidey might have rocked that pink bath robe, after all he was probably just trying to cover his ass. And loved the joke!!
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You know, Classy, I nearly went with the deer hunter theme, but thought fish were far less attractive than our mammalian brethren.
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Ahh, but look how well the 'wrench wielding nomad wandering an apocalyptic wasteland' role went for Mel Gibson...pity about the later years. 
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I see Contraband in your future. I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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