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Blogs > angeldemoted > Broken Halos

The mommy vs sexy dichotomy  

angeldemoted 44F  
144 posts
9/21/2013 8:06 am
The mommy vs sexy dichotomy

I've tried several times to write this out... but I always find when thinking about it that it's a much more complex issue then it seems on the surface. So I figured I'll just go for it and i can always add more in a later entry.

Sexy vs Mommy sounds actually fairly simple and at first for me it really did seem that way. But as my libido returned I started to find it was actually a much more multifaceted issue.

There's the fact that my body is not the same as it was pre-pregnancy. I've given birth. I'm still battling that last darn 5 pounds of baby weight. While my abs were never a ripped 6 pack they are defiantly a little squishier these days. My hips... seem to have gone back to their old measurements... and yet in some pictures of myself lately they seem awfully wide. Now I know we are all our own worst critics and much of this is really only a perceived difference on my part... but all the same there it is. I simply don't feel nearly as attractive as I did before baby. In some ways it's almost like being a virgin again... as well I don't know how sex will feel post baby... I've heard some horror stories out there on the 'net so yes it makes me decidedly nervous

There's the mental block... the I'm someone's Mom now I shouldn't want those naughty nasty things I used to. I'm sort of getting over this one... but really don't feel ready to dive back in to the deep end for sure. There's days I feel like I must be a terrible parent for even logging on here.

There's the knocks I've had to take to my ego as my past FWB all of whom I really did consider friends I happened to sleep with. Have not put any priority on seeing me... I've invited.... they said oh yes... soon. I know it's not really me it's that they were used to the me who could just agree to meet up on fairly short notice. That just isn't possible now. I need things scheduled in advance so I can arrange someone to watch my little one (and as my primary babysitters at the moment are my parents this would take some creative talking to explain). But it's still tough to swallow that men I really did consider friends have turned out to really only hanging around for the convenient sex.

And if the logistics and mental block are rough with men I've known for months and years... well they're about 100 times worse with the idea of meeting someone new.

This sort of feels like it lacks a conclusion... but I guess that's because i haven't found one yet.

4uoralrewards 63M
436 posts
9/26/2013 11:18 am

 Men hanging around for convienent sex? What's this world coming to. I can't fathom such a thing ever happening.

I guess the FWB definition was incorrect, they were just FB's, the friend part wasn't in the equation.

You know what will happen? All of a sudden you will be rolling in the hay with someone and guess what .... all of those feeling and insecurities will just melt away. Of course you may have to work on finding a new group of Friends With Benefits as opposed to Fuck Buddies, but that exploration might turn out to be fun.


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