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'You like ME? How dumb are YOU?'
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'You like ME? How dumb are YOU?' This post is only viewable by Senior Sizzle members. Join Senior Sizzle now! When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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I have actually gone out of my my to outright THWART men away as I thought they deserved better than me. wtf??? lol! I have no effing clue where I'm going and what I'm saying Vixn_Vella Its not me....It's you. And no...we cannot be friends
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I had read this and really didn't have much of a comment on it to be honest, I think we have all had a thought about leagues and levels and so on and so forth. But today I was reading a quick article about Christy Brinkley playing Jerry's wife on the show Parks and recreation, then I had a thought I Doesn't matter if someone is out of someones "league". Sometimes it just works, Like peanut butter and jelly, sea salt caramel or any number of odd combinations. So if people are obsessed with leagues and levels they just might be missing out on some of the best things in life, for them I just feel bad. Don't compromise yourself! You are all you've got!
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no one has ever told me I was out of their league, and I've never thought I was undeserving for a man. If someone finds me interesting, nice. If I find someone interesting and its not mutual, I would hope it would end in a polite, "thank you, but not for me." I dont believe in analyzing the "why", sometimes there just isn't a connection. "To Be Consumed" Blog : I want to be your drug of painful withdrawals.
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Why do you assume that "league" is solely a reference to physical attractiveness? It could apply to any number of things, from social class to a disparity in accomplishments to intelligence and even to moral character. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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I tend to agree with Charmer, but for me personally - I think common values and goals play into it more for me. We don't have to have a ton of common interests - but some commonalities that we can talk and laugh about are way up there on my list, together with similar intelligence. If I was ever going to feel someone was "out of my league" it would likely be on the intellectual level. Physical is just the packaging, I look more to what is in their heart, soul and mind. Some good looking people can be vacuous and empty, just as some not-so-good looking people can. I am interested in the full package, and physical attraction does play a part in it - because it is what I see first, but it will not be the determining factor. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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I've been married to a person that constantly tells me that she is not good enough for me. She is extremely withdrawn, showers in the dark, covers up whenever I enter the room and pulls away from any act of affection. It breaks my heart that she feels that way, no one should ever feel that way. When the pedestal is the artificial product of another persons lack of self-esteem it is a very lonely and unhappy place. Like you, I find so many wonderfully attractive qualities in women that have absolutely nothing to do with appearance. Sometimes I think is tragic that women that have so many beautiful qualities have a tarnished self-image due a misplaced focus on what they perceive as flaws. Sharing a sense of comfort is a critical foundation and to be comfortable with someone else you first need to be comfortable with yourself. There are great pedestals and the most wonderful rise from a mutual adoration where the special chemistry between two people elevates both when seen through the eyes of the other.
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Seems to me (and I think one or two other commenters have mentioned this too) that a situation like this is more about the other persons insecurities then anything (I should know I have a lot of them when relationships are concerned). That being said as far as I know, I've never dated a woman who thought they were out of my league in the way you mean. Given I have only had 2 second dates ever (one of which lead to a 3 month relationship the other that it was the last date with the person). So maybe my sample size is too small.
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I can't imagine that I have ever dated someone who felt I was out of their league. Cartainly not that they ever expressed to me. And I venture a guess that no one ever put me on a pedestal. I imagine that would be exhausting because I think it would make me nervous that once they found out that I was human, they would be disillusioned enough that the relationship would be over. I mean, I get uncomfortable in general when someone expresses admiration HERE - I don't think the "real" me could ever live up to the "Buxom" hype. 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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11/30/2012 10:48 am |
unfortunatly the way society is nowadays it's a real issue, people should get to know someone before passing judgement on them based on looks only.
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My wife and myself. We both have low self esteem. I see her as an 8 and myself as a 3. She sees me as a 9 and herself as a 2. But we truly love each other, and fully trust one another. I'm used to a richer way of life. But we are equal intelligence and ethics / morals. We've been together for 14 years and still going very much strong. I can see us being an exception though. Visit my blog if you want to at thax013 and thank you very much!
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I think the idea of Leagues is for people who are less interested in finding a friend or partner and more into looking for a trophy. I agree with jim50plus that there are realms. It is a matter of common interests. I have learned to run from those who want a "knight in shining armor" as you can't live in it. If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin." I always behave. Preferably not well. 
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Like you I don't really believe in the concept of leagues either. But I know people who do! When I was in high school I dated this girl for a while who thought I was something Waaaayyy out of her league. She was cute and I never noticed she wasn't a covergirl model. But she kept referring to it all the time and finally I had had enough. Even after many mnay conversations about her being just as great as any other woman she kept going back to her idea of "leagues". I think that was more the reason we stopped seeing each other than anything else.
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I know we disagree on the whole leagues thing but I agree with BrowneyedBBW, I don't think your question is necessarily about actual leagues but about self-perception and insecurity. While I have been placed on a pedestal before by men who admire me, I haven't ever dated someone who was that insecure about me being "too good for them." Probably the closest to that would be my ex husband because he would say sometimes he didn't know what I saw in him. And honestly that insecurity did play a role in the demise of our relationship...yet I dont think it had anything to do with him being in or out of my league. Hope that makes sense. ***
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I have never had anyone hoist me up on a pedestal, but a male friend of a woman I was with did tell her (after he had met me) that she was way out of my league. She was gorgeous, intelligent, world traveled, and her prim and proper Londoner accent did make me feel like she was unattainable. On paper... yes, she was way out of my league, but the heart has no boundaries. I grew on her like the morning moss.  Thoughts from the Garden...
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I think the concept of "leagues" is based of superficialities, especially looks and money. I'd rather be with someone who's inner spirit matches mine, regardless of anything else. [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
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That whole "league" thing is a big topic for me. I have talked about it before. I consider myself a pretty average looking guy, average height, average looks, average style for a 40-something guy. And I am active on dating sites, so this does affect me. Many times on dating sites, I have seen women say (paraphrased) "If you're not good looking, don't contact me" or "If you think I am too hot for you, I am, don't bother me". That sort of thing. I would see this on profiles where I felt the lady was about a step or two above me, league-wise. I wasn't sure if I was good-looking enough for them, so by my own uncertainty, I felt it meant I was probably not. Therefore, no contact. Even if I felt I was in their league, I wouldn't contact a woman who put THAT on her profile. I have dating issues, and it may be one of two things: 1. Either I'm not as average looking as I think I am, or 2. Many women on dating sites think they're far more attractive than they really are. The women seem to aim very high. Any messages I send to women I feel are at my level or just above are usually not returned. But, the women who do contact me tend to be women I am just not attracted to. And I'm not a looks snob, but I do have to have at least a basic level of attraction. I started a folder on my computer, and I snag pictures of women I feel are my looks equal. Been meaning to send these pics to a good female friend, and see if I can get an assessment if I am right, or if I am dreaming.
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I'd suggest that it might be more appropriate to distinguish between a league and a realm. Meaning, it's not about whether someone is "too good" for you as it is about whether someone is "too different" for you. Course, it's collating the differences that keep it fresh. 
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Putting me on a pedestal is not a good move. I might just climb down and walk around being "human". "You've seen my descent, Now watch my rising!" - Rumi Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are forged from it - Michele K.
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I have thought of myself as a follower and not a leader, I am suited to this. I don't have low self esteem. Although have dated guys that have, and they made my life a misery. NEVER AGAIN I tell you, Never again. Cherry  Always remember......Pretty is skin deep, ugly attitude is to the bone.
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in the single days i dated a few women who realized i kicked ass and then proceeded to moan every now and then about how much they didnt kick ass and i was only around until i found something better. no matter how much i reassured them i wasnt. what i finally got fed up with was this attitude and realized that it was the attitude that drove people away. finally i just stopped dating. everyone has beautiful and desireable traits. some people just cant see them. i call those people fools.
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Never date someone who is beneath your league (and knows it). Eventually they stop worshipping you and will actually lose respect for you because you lowered your standards to be with them.' I don't think it's about "leagues" so much as never date anyone whose self esteem is so fragile that they put you on a pedestal. The only reason anyone ever gets put on a pedestal? So that the one(s) who put you up there can have the sadistic joy of pulling you down. I''ve been with maybe 2 or 3 men who at some point, "you think you're so fucking smart". Well if I'm telling you how to get from Point A to Point B and we get lost because you didn't listen it doesn't make me smart but it does say a lot about you. Anytime a disagreement contains the phrase, you think you're so...." that's my signal to execute my exit strategy. I have a hard enough time maintaining my wn self esteem, I can carry you as well, We can support each other but I can't carry you (nor will I ask you to carry me. Have fun this weekend and for the love of Pete, don't do anything I wouldn't Except dancing on a pole. That might be fun.
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When I went to school there were so-called leagues or clicks. I was never in one nor do I ever want to be. I don't consider my self better than anyone or anyone better than me!
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