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thesupermann 58M  
63 posts
7/8/2021 7:14 pm

Wow... So well explained to us here... You are brave, even bold.
I am the one who keeps those 'lil bits close to myself' only.. I like the feeling of holding the darkest secrets just for me.


nsnguystill 71M
428 posts
7/8/2021 7:24 pm

nope!
i will share everything & anything. except what i hid in my mind. i would not even think of keeping a journal.

there is a world of difference between insane and stupid


noonerfy 64M

7/8/2021 7:27 pm

Clearly, I don't share nearly enough......


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
7/8/2021 7:32 pm

I have never dealt in absolutes. I believe there is usually a middle ground. Most situations are not black and white. I seldom use the words "always or never."



When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
7/8/2021 8:21 pm

Jules...this sooooooo resonated with me. I have 2 super close friends.....one from since age 8 and the other from college in the 70's. They never met each other and the 3 of us never lived in the same state ( cept those 4 college yrs with one ). I shared with both , the deepest side of me, different information and different parts though, what one knew the other didnt and they shared equally with me. We kept each others hearts and secrets. As the saying goes, " they knew where the bodies are buried ". In Nov 2020, the childhood friend passed away, and in April 2021, the college friend passed away. I miss them immensely, they both have my heart and my secrets....took em to the grave.
You are so brave in allowing your sis in...a bit. You are also wise to keep just a little for yourself. There is a sense of freedom and wisdom in taking both avenues~ Hugs girl !


popeye101978 45M  
14 posts
7/8/2021 8:25 pm

Share only with those who deserve to know


Mr_Mercedes 61M
617 posts
7/8/2021 8:43 pm

Double Wow! What a wonderfully rendered insight into your fascinating personality and character. Makes me want to read that journal too.

I haven't found that person I would feel comfortable with revealing all my secrets with, nor experienced the situation where I'd be forced to.

Your are an incredible person. I mean that sincerely.


Looking for Mischief


DoctorBooty 43M  
6426 posts
7/8/2021 9:03 pm

My secrets stay with me. I can only trust people so far, I tell them half-truths or only part of the story. In my writing of my blog into print form, much more truth comes out.


flannel_light 61F
4586 posts
7/8/2021 9:17 pm

My life as a Sub know one knows or the life I lead on this site. My sister would have a cow and would not understand any off it so I have kept my other me a secret . Only one person knows what I do in my life and that is my Higher Power.

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


exsquid46 64M
640 posts
7/9/2021 12:07 am

At the present there is no one I would share my dark secrets with, not even my secret desires.

I shared those desires with someone once and was called sick and twisted. The problem was they were someone I trusted and should have been able to share those desires with.

I wish I would have kept them to myself, but I learned my lesson. Now they will stay hidden from the light of day.


Ultraviolet_Sol 43M
622 posts
7/9/2021 1:37 am

I very much like this post, Jules.

I never used to think like this, but, I have come to see the value in transparency and self disclosure. What exactly this means, I think I am still sort of surveying...

I wish you the best in all of your endeavors.

*. *. *


cevblodgett 54F  
35 posts
7/9/2021 2:19 am

I have one person in my life I can share my deepest darkest secrets with. He has never passed judgment on me. It is good feeling just having that one person know the true me and still accept me for who I am and the secret life I lead. I feel good sharing with him, I feel he is my outlet.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
7/9/2021 4:30 am

This is an interesting, thought provoking and revealing post Jules, thank you!

I think sometimes we keep things from others, particularly family, because we know they will be judgmental, and we don't want to have to justify ourselves to them. Mostly that comes about because of how they are - like you said, the timing would not have been right ten years ago, but your sister's attitude has changed since then. (There are a lot of things which I wouldn't tell my sister, but then she is so much in her own world she never asks anyway, but that's another subject, lol.)

But sometimes I think, especially with very close friends, the reason not to share can come from our own inner doubts. You know - if I open up to my best friends about some problem I am struggling with, they won't be shocked or judgemental, but maybe they will ask questions, and I will have to answer, if not to them, then at least to myself, and I don't know what the answers are, or else I am not ready to hear them, so I don't want the subjects to come up......Does that sound right?


heartshapedcock2 40M

7/9/2021 5:37 am

I already told you about this a few months ago, but in case you forgot, I told this girl that I talked to and was getting pretty close to that when I was younger I used to be able to suck my cock to orgasm. I never would've guessed anyone would be bothered by it, but she totally freaked and 'friend zoned' me, but we constantly would get in arguments and it just wasn't the same. She later told me she associated it with being gay, which I just do not understand; ( no one calls a man gay for masturbating even though it's technically a man's hand rubbing your dick)

I guess the good news is I'm not depressed to the point of wishing I was dead like I was a few months ago, now I'm just really angry about the whole ordeal. Never again will I let my guard down and reveal something like that to someone I thought I was close with.


Leegs2012 51M
96137 posts
7/9/2021 9:40 am

'You will never have to negotiate your way into a heart that wants you there,'
I love this. Words well written!!! I adore you!!

With all the Kinky adult swinging I have done, I am not ashamed to share with other swingers, but my non swinging friends, this quote goes well too you have written: But what I've done... my past, would now be ripe for censure and criticism"


freespirit11501 53M
1542 posts
7/9/2021 11:43 am

I think it is important to have a person that you can confide in and trust with very personal information. Finding that person that will accept "all" of you, without judgment, isn't always easy though. We all have secrets obviously, but sometimes things can get a little complicated in these lives that we have created, and its good to get an outside perspective, especially from someone that you know will have your back. It sounds like your sister is more accepting than you thought and that is wonderful. Oh and BTW, your journal sounds really beautiful.

PLEASE COME AND CHECK OUT MY BLOG AND IF YOU ENJOYED IT LEAVE ME A COMMENT. KEEP IT SEXY!!


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
7/10/2021 8:08 am

Once burned, twice shy here...

I'm so lucky to have two friends with whom I can share all the details of my current fucked-up life as well as know the details of my fucked-up past life. They are my "til death do us part" people, the only ones who won't use my revelations for leverage or to cause pain. It's a gift to finally have people like them in my life after a lifetime of southern upbringing (and poor choices in romantic partners) where you only talk about the good and proper lest you be shut out because you make people uncomfortable. I'm envious of your relationship with your sister, that you can share uncomfortable knowledge without judgement!


MrRareity 64M  
4589 posts
7/10/2021 9:07 am

Jules, I should introduce myself to you I'm John. This does hit home with me but I keep it inside of me. I have a brother who I dearly love but I don't know if he would understand. To be honest there are times when I don't understand when something turns me on, or what does it mean. There are time where my mind starts to just go off on it's own my guess is kind of the way yours did. The older I get I start to wonder about things that I've all of a sudden become interested in and don't know why. Can we love more than one person? We do when it comes to non-physical things so why not in a physical relationship?

I have a tendency to keep things to my self there is one person who if I need to or want to I can talk to. I really don't have any friends outside of Senior Sizzle that would understand. There are some on Senior Sizzle that I would like to talk to but there is that trust issue. When I was bloging on my own things got bad. I don't know how long you've been on the site for but the blog wars back them were brutal. I tried to stay out of it until they got my friends involved. After being attacked I just said this isn't worth it so I stopped and just made comments on blogs I like.

I do have a feeling that you are someone I could talk to and you wouldn't pass judgement like I think some others would. So I will keep things to my self until I find those who I feel comfortable talking to.

Question, who is the drawing of the woman at the top of your blog page. Did you draw that because it is beautiful.

We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we have only one - Confucious


CedarsPrince 44M
1608 posts
7/11/2021 7:00 am

Sadly no.
I can't see myself sharing my secret/dark side with my siblings. I have no one here to confide in because I haven't found the one person I can truly trust to confide in. Also, the one person who I could confide in is my childhood best friend, but he is 20 hours away by plane and comes to visit once in a blue moon.

Perhaps it's for the best.


merlot5555 67M/57F  
1472 posts
7/11/2021 12:05 pm

....crossing that threshold to share all of your past is a delicate area..... in my world, it's always know your audience.... first and always the most important, can they be trusted with your confidences regardless of how they might feel about the issues being shared... nobody has a right to your confidences....

......others might ask, but each one of us has every right to say that there are some things left better unsaid... they may speculate, but they really have no idea which of the many paths you might have traveled is cruising through your head at that moment..... it's not your duty to share everything just because someone asks....

...that being said .... owning your life, past present and future, is comforting and invigorating.... it's your life.... not somebody else's.... be content that each step happened for a reason.....and, if you feel comfortable in sharing with a trusted companion or family member, you can't control how someone else may react but you can hold your head high knowing that you made decisions that were right for you at the time....

....and sharing can come in bits and pieces as appropriate.... trusted confidantes rarely press because they know over time that confidence will enable more to be shared as appropriate.... and, lol, you never know what thought and deeds might be lurking in their past present and future.....

....so Jules of Verona, you can and always will be be the good girl.... remember that being a good girl and a sexually active curious adult are not mutually exclusive.... otherwise there would be a helluva lot more nuns.... you can have your cake and eat it too....

...carpe diem....


MyNameIsKay 62F  
11887 posts
7/11/2021 9:19 pm

What an interesting post! I haven't really told too many people details outside of the fact that I am on an "adult site." Once with a close friend from work who really liked sex, I let slip a detail about the guy I was seeing. It didn't even phase her. That was good to know. Since then, she and I have shared a few interesting secrets. But mostly, my family doesn't know what has gone on here or what I have blogged.

Swim...Bike...Done


HermanG67 56M
8464 posts
7/12/2021 7:40 am

maybe it was time.... things happen for a reason, it might be that she needed to know those things about you .... it may be to help her... to help you....

TIGHT HUGS


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
7/12/2021 7:58 am

Thanks for your response to my comment, and PLEASE don't apologise for a long comment (especially on your own blog!) I mean, that is one of the things which is so worthwhile about these pages isn't it?

Anyway, ""This life is completely distinct and separate from who I am in the real world. I am a good person and this other persona (if known) would be harshly judged and cast in an unfavorable and slanderous light. My whole life I have been the "good girl" and tamped down "this person" my "true self" because it was "trashy."
Oh my goodness, this is exactly how I feel. Except......who I am here is just like who I am in the real world in terms of personality, only I talk about things I wouldn't mention in real life for all the reasons you mention in that sentence. And I keep my behaviour on track in the real world for fear of who I might become (not someone I want to be) if I let it all have free expression. I don't know if I explained that very well, but I think you know what I mean, because it is there is your own words. Thanks for making me fee like I'm not the only one!


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
7/12/2021 8:16 am

Oh Shit!!!! Sorry Jules - that last comment was meant for Beccaluvs and I somehow posted it to your blog by mistake! Oh heavens how embarrassing. By the time I realised, I had already left your blog and the delete button was gone! Becca had a post up about preferences in body parts.

I can only ask your forgiveness in the spirit of openness, lol! In all my years on Senior Sizzle I don't think I have ever done that before. Maybe it's what comes from replying to "where I am quoted" rather than going direct back to the blog I was commenting on. Be warned Dreamer!


69bud69 69M
7134 posts
7/12/2021 9:27 am

It's wonderful that you have allowed your sister to glimpse at some of your adventures. I agree with you that a little is good, but to much might be over whelming for her. I don't have anyone close enough to share my adventures with.
On that account, you are very lucky.

Buid

Always Ready for Fun.


justskin1 72M
13175 posts
7/19/2021 6:55 pm

Total Disclosure of who we are in our secret life of our minds or the spillover into the real world is rarely, if not ever, a good idea. I understand your reluctance to let your sister know any of that life but do understand your feeling you having to tell her some of it. I hope it turns out to be a good confidence and a real growing experience for her.
Trust is a hard thing to give and can only be given in bits and pieces as it is earned. My lady friend has given me that most precious thing. Her trust that I will not judge her or betray it. I know she has some things she has not told me and am fine with that. If she feels she wants me to know she will tell me. There are some things I know a part of but not all. I may have curiosity but will never ever ask. I have told her much but certainly not all. For some it is because I do not understand the thoughts or roots of them myself.
She uses art, painting and drawing to get her demons and unknowns out, Sounds like that journal is your way. I just know that if some of them are forever held in they can make your life a misery at best a ruin at worst.
I do not know how she has decided, correctly, that I can be trusted but I am so honored that she has. Her trust earns mine but we both have secrets. So does every person on the planet. Telling a trustworthy person some of your secrets, or just a blank page can help you grow in understanding of you, telling the whole world makes a mess.
I guess to get to the point, I am not sure telling your sister some things was as you say brave, but it certainly was loving and caring. I have seen the measure of you heart and soul and it is large and good.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


CedarsPrince 44M
1608 posts
7/19/2021 9:09 pm

Jules1590 replies on 7/17/2021 1:30 pm:
Hello my dear,
sorry for the delayed response... summer time you know.

I'm with you on all your points. Like you, I probably would have gone to the grave with my private life /this other side to my self, if it hadn't been for this situation.

"Perhaps its for the best."
Is it for the best? If it works for you and keeps you feeling "safe" then it is. Its that simple.

Hugs,
Jules


No worries hun. Hope you're enjoying the summer time,

Sometimes the simple things feel complex too

Thanks and hugs back at ya hermosa

CP


CL_Love 51M/50F
425 posts
7/27/2021 10:00 am

I don't think my sister (oddly enough - name "Julie") would ever accept the me of the last 7 years. I don't think she could even wrap her head around it. We are (and always have been) so very different aside from our brown hair and brown eyes. I hope she never learns about this because I think she'd think less of me and that would break my heart.

I do have one very close friend that I've known for nearly 30 years that does know my secret (or at least most of it). She doesn't judge me on it. She doesn't really "get it" either.


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