Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > jadestar213 > Welcome to Jadestar's world |
Reflection
|
Reflection After a very good weekend and fun with friends I have been looking back on things in my life and the way I live my life... I don't regret anything I have done in my life other than not always being the best me.. I have been the shoulder to cry on the person that is always there for her friends and family members.. I have been the kinda person that I look for when I want to be with someone.. I have been the affair that someone wanted or needed to make someone really feel wanted and needed... I have had my up and down times and dealt with real nut jobs that tried to hurt me or people around me.. I have always handled it with grace and strength and I always have my gun.. I have been used abused left tied up and found bleeding but I just keep looking for a brighter side too life... Been controlled by my first ex-husband and made to feel like there is something wrong with me because I am who I am then thrown away like someone's trash like I was not good enough for him.. He cheated and moved her into my house slept in my bed... That's alright I moved on and found the real me again and felt so much better not having to hide me... I found myself being a little to much like the old me that I almost got in trouble... I did get in trouble one night and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days bruises will heal and scares will go away sooner or later.. But my life is still mine... Second ex-husband is still the love of my life and we are the best friends he let me be me without question or worry he never said anything about me being who I am... To this day he tells me he supports me in anything I do and is always an ear to talk to or shoulder to lean on... We have been each others rock when we had nobody else who would understand... He knows everything little secret about me and I know all of his.. People don't understand why we can be so close but not be together but we both know why and we are good with the reason... We love each other and always will but just can't hurt each other the way we once did because we love each other... We have our own lives but we are always going to be apart of each other's lives forever... Sex doesn't rule my life yes I love having sex but I don't have to have it to make me happy all the time.. I spent a couple amazing days with an old friend that was broken and lost and yes we had fantastic sex but it was more about her finding herself again and I think I helped her do that.. I have been that friend who helps others find their way back to who they really are inside... I myself have been looking at my life and all the things I have done and places I have been and all the fun I have had...But at the end of the day what do I have people who love me and the knowledge that I have made a choice to be who I am and don't care what people say about my life style and how I live my life... I do know I am tired of being alone at night when I could be with someone who wants me for more than a sexual relationship... Don't get me wrong that is great but sometimes I need more than that on my life.. I have that in my life but not as often as I would like.. I just need to get serious about who I want and need in my life and tell that person that they are the one who I want and need in my life.. |
|||
|
you need to be happy and true to yourself first.you seem to have that,the rest will come in time.patience is a hard tool that we all need to have more of..good luck my dear..
|
Become a member to create a blog
