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I had someone I was completely at ease with once. Between the two of us we managed to fuck it up pretty badly and it ended. I think she was it for me, honestly. Despite all the problems I still miss her after 8 years and a few failed relationships since. Don't take my experience as gospel though. You can probably find it again, I have faith
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I hope that you are able to put closure to your situation and either make things better with it or move on and look for a better future for yourself. I hate it when you are left in limbo.
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Chin up and all that. I find that time gives us the chance to heal. You sound too close to the wounding still. Not great advise to help you get past this but just something i figured out the hard way.
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S - I know its been a while.. but if you need to chat and vent let me know
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