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Blogs > kb_sg_3 > A young man's old mind.

Post Break 2.0  

kb_sg_3 37M
16 posts
1/14/2013 8:33 pm

Last Read:
2/3/2013 7:22 pm
Post Break 2.0

Twice now I've been in close<b> proximity </font></b>to her. She didn't acknowledge my existence. And it filled me with rage.

Then I began to wonder why I was so angry. If I am over her, then these emotions shouldn't be present. My theory on it is that I didn't matter, so I don't now.

Look at it from my side. It mattered to me. She was my first. And from her: my wheels have spun, I've written two screenplays, and I'm under threat of getting kneed in the groin.

It just hurts; that, on the other side, this means nothing. Granted, I don't have her track record, but it mattered to me. For a brief moment, I meant something to somebody who wasn't friend or family. Now, it's gone; not a trace.

I've been on the sidelines of a lot of relationships. I've seen them rise and fall like the tides. And the one time I get to be on the field, it's with this.

All I can do is move on. But to what? None of these sites have been helpful. I suck at bar game. So I sit as I always do, alone.

I guess I just want closure. Just tell her to "fuck off" and close the door; a proper starting point to move on.

Note: most of the time, now, I don't give a shit about the she demon. I don't wish ill against her, it would just be better if she knew how I felt. However my mind keeps gravitating towards her because she's the closest thing I've had to love.

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