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| Blogs > luoxana > The art of anal |
...these are my confessions
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...these are my confessions I just posted this on another blog, and felt the need to repost it on my own. The subject asked about being in the Lifestyle and how it was brought up when you are in a relationship: When my ex and I first started dating, he told me that he used to throw parties in DC when he lived up there. Knowing that I had past encounters with 3somes, he suggested that we start up our own Yahoo club (back in 2001, they let you do almost anything) to meet like minded people and see what happened. We would meet up at a local lounge every Friday night for Meet & Greets, then after about 6 weeks, we had our first party. He told me that I did not have to do anything that I didn't want to do, and also made the announcement to everyone before starting anything. I ended up giving out some blow jobs, and even let a girl go down on me for the 1st time. As we progressed with the parties, I was more relaxed to letting my guard down and allowing myself more fun. The problems, however, started after he and I got closer and more romantically involved. We decided to be exclusive and all of that stopped. But in my mind, and probably his, I wanted more...I wanted the variety...I wanted to watch and be watched. I did stray once with a guy that frequented our parties, but the sex was wack, and I remained faithful, yet unsatisfied, until after we broke up this past May, some 8 years later. Now, after some great encounters over the summer, I am currently involved with the most kind, loving and generous man whom I met on this site. But, I am feeling/experiencing the same limitations, and desires. I've already strayed, and honestly I'm not ready to stop. When we met, he told me that he read my blog and profile...he had been in a DP - something that I have been craving for years, and had posted as much. I was happy I met someone who was going to allow the naughty girl out to play...but now that has been shot down. Don't get me wrong, he is a vital part of my life, and I don't want to leave because I am attached. I'm in another tailspin, and I am hoping the fallout will not be too bad. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So, I just read this over again, and I feel like a total bitch. They say that<b> confessions </font></b>are good for the soul...I'll keep you posted on how this all plays out. Kisses, Luoxana |
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10/27/2009 5:39 pm |
yea let us know what u do
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10/27/2009 5:44 pm |
you say you met him on this site ... does he read your blogs? ... if this is your way of telling him ... id say honest open communication would be the issue, but its just a guess
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No, he doesn't read my blogs. Actually, he turned his profile off soon after we met, and no longer logs onto this site.... I am not that much of a witch to use this as my way of telling him, but I am a witch for letting you all know first. I think I'm going to have a drink and calm my nerves down...I've given myself a headache  Thanks for the reply!
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Copy and Paste directly from my profile: Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!: I am still waiting for a true double penetration... What types of sexual activities turn you on?: Giving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes, Voyeurism So seriously guys, if you actually read that on someone's profile, what would you expect from a relationship?
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So...it is done. He is kind and gracious, a true gem of a man. I wish him well in all his endeavors, and I hope that he can find a woman who respects and cherishes him in all the ways I couldn't. I told him that he was looking for love in all the wrong places...I told him that he should yell at me...I am upset at myself for getting him involved in my messed up life. So fair warning has been issued...govern yourselves accordingly.
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