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| Blogs > ICDeadPeople2 > Ghost Writer in Disguise |
Ow! Ouch! Fuck That Hurts!!!
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Ow! Ouch! Fuck That Hurts!!! So, [blog ThatsMrsR2U] was concerned that I had not posted a new post yet. I hated to tell her why... so I blamed it on "Writers Block". Then I had a moment of conscience (Fucking Jiminy Cricket) and decided I had to come clean. Truth is I had a little fall and I have spent the last couple days recuperating from it. This situation all started when I chanced a visit over to the advice lines to check out how much they have changed in the last couple years. I have to admit. I was greatly surprised that there were only 13523 posts asking if penis size really matter. Hell yes it does. Sorry penile length challenged (short dicked)men. You guys cry about wanting some new pussy but if your dick was a couple inches longer you could get some new pussy at home. I have to tell you... It's some good pussy... (HAHA No I wasn't at your house getting your pussy while you were at work. I was a good 2 inches deeper than your pussy!!) I digress... The topic of the day seemed to be men shaving/trimming there pubic regions.. Sorry but you short dicked men should not try this. You might cut a hair and it starts bleeding.. This would mean you are now a no dick man.. (If this happens call Mflater1 ) I digressed again.... OK, so after reading what the women had to say about the man shaving I got to thinking how nice it would be to have porno balls. (You know where all the hair is removed except for the tuft above the penis) So..... Well, I guess I should have used the advice lines to get some advice on exactly how to do this...... but anyways I got in the shower and turned the water on nice and warm and started to furiously lather my package (penis and balls) with "Lever 2000". I put my left foot on the bottom side of the left of the tub and my right foot I hiked up on the right side of the tub and started to shave the area around my swinging sack. I decided that lots of soap was good so my left hand was busy keeping the suds flowing while my right hand was in charge of the razor. (Mmmmmm, Yes more lather please. Damn this "Lever 2000" is great for these parts.) Just as I got to actually shaving my scrotum so it would be smooth as the skin on a baby's butt... my foot planted in the bottom of the tub slipped in the massive amounts of suds that had been accumulating. Needless to say I tried to catch my balance but ended up falling and on the way down my ass got painfully close to being impaled by the bathtub faucet. All in all the fall bruised me up but I did not break any bones. So now I am really just wondering how you ladies feel about dating a man with only one testicle?  I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed    RAInBow |
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1/20/2011 4:46 pm |
 Sorry about your fall, but that pic is too funny! haha
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Absolutely beautiful! 
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Looks like the soapdish caused a bit of a chestwound there, too. At least the scar is something you could show off. This is me [blog JermsG].
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"He's a one ball man, does the best that he can, and he's going to the ro-dee-oh!"  "You can't fix stupid...."
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At least you didn't get the faucet stuck UP your ass!  And not to disagree, but I never thought size mattered AT ALL. Maybe I should head over to those advice lines... 
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Ya know, bud... ...this is exactly the same circumstance wherein God was forced to invent tweezers. I suppose now you'll be callin' yourself the "one-nut wonder"? Of course, judgin' from what I been told, you coulda used that description even before your mishap. Solar...
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I assume it was was one time for each nut?! I can't imagine that shaving on the toilet is safer; one nick leading to a nasty poo-driven infection...makes ya cringe! Actually Bard, if you're desperate, I can probably loan you one; they aren't much use to me anymore! 
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1/21/2011 5:44 am |
Try waxing....Quite sure a blow-by-blow'd be useful. LOL He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
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I guess I am the only person who wondered where his arsehole went .... Cause somehow even with only one ball - the playing field there looks much larger than regulation  ~ [blog kelidgh]~ I am, indeed 
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sorry, not interested in a man with one testicle.
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yo...you are not supposed to shave off the ball...just the hair...ok...and next time, i will personally put the safety rope around your dick head...and securely attached to the shower head...here you go.....you are now ok to slip on the soap...
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1/21/2011 12:07 pm |
If something is not believable or not accepted in the UK we use the expression 'BOLLOX' which also refers to the mans under carriage and defines plural so now in relation to your mishap the shout will be 'BOLLOC'   Bond James 700  The1tonyroneZone always to provoke  the pope on dope
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ICDeadPeople2 replies on 1/21/2011 12:23 pm: That is a relief. No, Really it is.. See, this was one of those scenarios where I thought to myself...should I lie?...or just tell the truth at the risk of hurting your feelings.
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Poor sexy beast! Hope you are ok. ArtemisJ is Keeping It Real
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"Hitler has only got one ball..." "  To the tune of Colonel Boggie 
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1/21/2011 4:19 pm |
So did we... lol I thought about it randomly today in class and laughed out loud... I was like "he really is crazy"... but we like him... 
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Goodnes gracious. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as disturbing. If you need the name of a good barber, Guido keeps me clean and fresh. Smooth as a baby's behind!
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Um, ow! Are you a clutz, too? Take care of yourself after the fall. They suck! Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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