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Blogs > rm_Haruki70 > To Her

Single Again.  

rm_Haruki70 54M
44 posts
4/16/2009 1:11 pm
Single Again.

I started writing this blog entry last night and stopped. I can't remember why exactly. For whatever reason, I didn't want to. Perhaps it was too soon as I only had the break-up conversation with my partner about an hour earlier. We actually had a good conversation and I explained how I thought that, in the long run, we probably wouldn't make it as a couple. She understood me even if she didn't agree with breaking-up at that time. Emotions stayed calm, we hugged and I kissed her as I left. So, here I am. Single once more.

In many ways, it would of been easier to stay together. Making the most of her kindness and company from day to day and ignoring the fact she wasn't actually the right person for me.

I've previously compared a relationship to an investment and last night, I stood by my understanding of that comparison. When an investment goes bad you lose twice. The first is the immediate loss of capital on the investment. The second loss is the realisation that, if you'd of taken notice of the string of bad news early enough, then you could of exited the investment earlier with enough capital to invest somewhere else. Of course, she's not an investment. She's a woman and I genuinely care about her.

Where to next. Nowhere in particular. I still have my non-quiet life and I still hope that one day I'll find my one.

rm_Haruki70 54M

4/16/2009 4:11 pm
    Quoting  :
Thanks for your comments and understanding. My hopes were very much as you wrote. Since last night, I've found myself hoping for my one and not another person who isn't. I think that's normal given the proximity of our break-up. It's heartening to read your experience and how you encountered your one. I try to be patient and mostly I succeed. I do miss her though. My one, that is. I think you're lucky and I wish you both an enduring, happy relationship that rewards you both equally and look forward to my own .


Notfunanymore 112F
10277 posts
4/16/2009 5:56 pm

 I write entire blog post, then just don't want to share it....... It's not like they are about a relationship. I've not been in one of those in forever! I told a co-worker today, I don't think I'll be with anyone ever again........
I've always got my job, family and the few friends I have to keep me going!
Good luck in your search..... You'll come across her one day, hopefully!


_xXxapplexXx_ 36F

4/16/2009 6:20 pm

 cool


rm_Haruki70 54M

4/16/2009 6:59 pm
    Quoting Notfunanymore:
    I write entire blog post, then just don't want to share it....... It's not like they are about a relationship. I've not been in one of those in forever! I told a co-worker today, I don't think I'll be with anyone ever again........
    I've always got my job, family and the few friends I have to keep me going!
    Good luck in your search..... You'll come across her one day, hopefully!
Thanks for your comments. Mostly, like you, I'm happy with my lot and take life as it comes. I wasn't actually in a full blown relationship with my now ex-partner as there was always a part of me that she was unable to reach. We were very affectionate towards each other at times. Sharing that affection reminded me of how much more I could give to the right person and why not, what I did share felt good. I've felt a little lonely and sad at times since saying goodbye. Not unusual given only the short amount of time that's passed. I expect I'll return to my normal state as the days go by.

In writing this blog, I share as much as I'm able to. I'm not expecting 'her' to read it but you never know. It could and does happen. I can't tell from your comments whether you want to be with somebody or not. If you do, then perhaps you'll find him. Either way, I enjoyed reading your comments. Thanks.


rm_Haruki70 54M

4/16/2009 7:01 pm

 Considering how these things can go, I'd say it was very cool. Thanks for commenting .


rm_Haruki70 54M

4/17/2009 7:44 am
    Quoting  :
It never got that far between my ex-partner and myself as she was never able to reach all of me. Just enough to raise thoughts in my mind of how things could be, perhaps with somebody else. I seriously doubted it would ever happen for us. She wanted me to wait and see what happens. To give us the opportunity, as she put it. In my mind, our opportunity was the two years we had known each other previously. My instincts were telling me that it wasn't going to work out and I decided to trust them.

I don't know enough about you or your situation to comment. I can see how much it hurts and understand the shock you must of felt and no doubt, a sense of betrayal. All I would say is that, in my experience, I have found it enough to observe the actions of the other person, without listening to everything they say and then trust what my instincts are telling me.

Thanks for your comments and I hope you're able to find both the strength and wisdom to do what is ultimately right for you.


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